


Klaine Advent 2018

by coffeegleek



Category: Glee
Genre: Additional Warnings at the Beginning of Each Chapter, M/M, mention of 2 canon characters being referred to as a creeper and pedo, mostly laughter and fluff and cracky fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-09-13 05:33:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 25,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16886571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeegleek/pseuds/coffeegleek
Summary: This started out as an idea to write lots of little fics in various tropes I've been wanting to play around with for ages. Instead, it's ended up as the first two chapters are stand alone cracky drabbles rated M. The rest is a rated PG-PG13 verse/fic I've entitled "A Very Hallmark Christmas." Please see each chapter for its summary.





	1. Snowballs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1: Snowman
> 
> Sort of Summary: The idea came from my hub who teased, “Well, I don’t go around nearly as naked as often as the guys in your other verse do. Especially with how cold it is right now.” Rating T or Mature for nudity in a funny way.

———-

Kurt woke up in a daze. His everything hurt and he didn’t know if he was dead, going blind, or if the world really was covered in fog and swirling snow. Snow! That’s why he was so cold. It was everywhere.

Not so much his clothes though. Where the hell were his clothes? Except for the snow that was thick upon his body, he was naked and his nads had turned into tiny ice balls. He was a frost breathing, ice-balled, living snowman. Minus the jaunty top hat.

Memories started rushing back into his throbbing head. There was a party, lots of drinking, a game of Truth or Dare, and a determination not to let either Santana or Blaine win.

He forced his stiff body to stand up and noticed tracks in the snow leading from the sliding back door to where he and his drunken attempt at making a snow angel was. The wind chose that moment to settle down and he could now see that his friends were plastered to the glass, looking at him in various states of shock and wonder. Santana had a stopwatch. That made sense as the dare was something about staying out in the snow the longest, though he didn’t quite remember the “while naked” part. Blaine, beautiful, thoughtful Blaine held a warm and waiting blanket. Puck had his phone out, recording everything. Of course he was.

Kurt titled his chin up high and headed back towards the house. If he was going to be a naked snowman, he was going to be a proud one - hard-as-coal nipples, dangling carrot, tiny snowballs, and all.


	2. Hot Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Bury, Cinnamon
> 
> Summary: I’m a terrible person who clearly reads too much Klaine smut because the first thing that popped into my head when seeing today’s words was so very not PG. As such, consider this funny, crack ficlette as nsfw and rated M and B for “my brain, it needs bleach.”

————–

“Oh, yeah, baby, stir your cinnamon stick in me real good! Mmm…oh, yeah, you know how I like it!”

“How you like what, Kurt? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you from the other roo…” Blaine’s apology fell away from his lips as he stared at the computer screen his boyfriend was trying unsuccessfully to hide. Even if the visuals hadn’t been there, the exaggerated moans emanating from the speakers were a tell-tale giveaway. “Kurt, are you watching porn?”

Kurt opened and closed his mouth a number of times before finally coming up with a handful of words he hoped would make some sense. “Sam sent me a link to a recipe he thought we’d enjoy. Said a couple of his stripper friends had made a video about it.”

“And you didn’t automatically assume it would be porn?”

“What? Strippers can’t have talent in the culinary arts?”

Just then an impossibly loud moan and, “Bury it in harder, Cinnamon baby!” was shouted from the dark-skinned man bent over a giant cinnamon bun-shaped cushion in front of a roaring fireplace that was the focal point of a cozy bakery.

Blaine dragged his computer chair so that it was next to Kurt’s. “I take it that the Latino guy is Cinnamon and that’s not just the name of his dick?”

“Hmm…hmm.”

“And the other guy is?”

“Hot Chocolate.”

“Of course he is.”

A bell jingled as the bakery’s door was opened by yet another naked man, this one the palest of the three, wearing nothing but a chef’s hat and an erection. He shook the blue and white can in his hand, popped the cap, and sprayed a generous amount of the frothy white contents onto his dick. “Would anyone like some Whipped Cream with their Hot Chocolate?”

“You know we would!” Cinnamon and Hot Chocolate answered in a chorus beckoning the newcomer over as they resumed their thrusting rhythm.

Kurt wanted to turn away, but found he couldn’t. Embarrassed enough as it was, he tried deflection. “Who do you think is going to blow Whipped Cream?”

“Definitely Hot Chocolate. Cinnamon is too busy with his…cinnamon stick.”

Kurt turned his head from side to side, trying to figure out the logistics. “Really? From that angle? He’s pretty far bent over that cinnamon bun.” 

“He could sit on the cushion.”

“Good point.”

Blaine and Kurt stopped talking as Whipped Cream ran a finger through the topping on his cock and offered it to Cinnamon to lick while Hot Chocolate sucked the rest off his dick. The moans, sucking, and thrusting picked up pace as the camera panned around to capture the threesome.

Blaine tried to be subtle as he shifted his erection to a more comfortable position, vaguely aware that Kurt was doing the same. “I’ll be sure to thank Sam for the…recipe.”

“Me too.”

Whipped Cream shook his can again. “Ready for round two, boys?”

“Don’t you know it! Cinnamon wants more than a taste of you.”

“And Hot Chocolate wants to watch.”

The initial two men pulled apart from each other so that Cinnamon could take a turn bent over the dessert-shaped cushion. Whipped Cream moved in behind him, can at the ready, and began to spray out its contents.

Kurt and Blaine turned away from the computer in horror. “Oh, that’s not lube!”

“I know porn isn’t real, but you could get an infection that way!”

“Forget what I said earlier, I’m not thanking Sam for this.”

Kurt tried not to look back at the screen as he fumbled for the mouse to shut the window down. But of course, the attempt was in vain and he got another eye-full of the impossible scenario. “And I’m never having whipped cream ever again. At least Cinnamon and Hot Chocolate were hot.”

“Nope. No cinnamon, never again. All I’m ever going to associate with it now is whipped cream being…”

“Don’t say it, Blaine!” Glad his erection had nearly disappeared, Kurt backed away from his desk. I’m going to go clean the kitchen and hope the bleach works on those images in my brain.“

"Sounds like a great idea. I’ll take the bedroom…bathroom.”


	3. A Very Hallmark Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: Camera, Candle
> 
> Summary: semi-famous actor!Kurt, semi-famous actor!Blaine work the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit in true B-actor form. Happy fluff. PG for this fic; hopefully higher if I write more for this new verse that’s been kicking around in my head for a year. It’s an attempt at combining one of my favorite tropes with a nod to @chasingkerouac for getting me hooked on cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies. Unbeta’d due to time constraints, so the typos are all mine. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles.

————–

Kurt slid onto a stool at the hotel bar, shaking his open, button down, short sleeved shirt in order to try and cool off in the oppressive heat. He should have known better than to wear a tank top under it, or rather, two shirts at all. Lima, Ohio had nothing on Vancouver, British Columbia in July. After ordering a piña colada, more for the ice than anything, he checked the messages on his phone. His agent wanted to know if he’d picked up the latest stack of scripts and signed the contract she’d sent him. Fuck, he forgot to check in with the front desk and would have to soon…after he’d had his drink.

“Could I have what he’s having, but with a splash of mango juice if you have it, please?”

Kurt looked up from his phone and smiled at the familiar face and voice sitting down next to him. “Blaine! How are you? Are you still working the circuit or are you in town for better projects?”

“Hey, don’t snark on Hallmark. They pay my rent, same as yours.” Blaine sighed at the pile of manila envelopes he’d laid down on the bar’s wooden surface. He didn’t have to open them up to know what was inside, nor that he’d accept at least two of the four offers. He liked Brooks Brothers almost as much as he liked keeping a roof over his head. “What about you?”

“I am currently the ambiguously gay best friend of the female lead who reluctantly comes to town to visit her ailing father for Christmas. The best friend who also happens to secretly be one of Santa’s elves.” Kurt pulled his hair back to revel the tale tell red marks of long hours spent wearing appliances on his ears. At least these were just tips instead of full coverage ones. 

Blaine winced in sympathy. He was all too familiar with elf ear rash himself. “Who’s playing your best friend?”

“Santana Lopez.”

Blaine’s smile was a little forced at that information. “She’s a little…intense. I played her brother once.”

“A Holiday at Hollytime Village.”

“You remembered!”

“More like I couldn’t get the title out of my head and had to check it out.”

Blaine grinned as he teased a sing-songy, “You watch them! You watch them! I knew you couldn’t really hate Hallmark Christmas movies.”

“I hate that we have to film them in summer. At least the saying ‘the camera adds ten pounds’ doesn’t apply when you’re sweating your lunch off under a winter coat and ugly reindeer sweater.” Kurt took a long pull of his drink, watching as Blaine did the same and appreciating the biceps his form-fitting polo shirt was showing off. “What character trope did you get stuck with this time?”

“Bookstore manager that you think the woman is going to end up with, but doesn’t.”

“What’s the movie called?”

“Mistletoe by Moonlight.” Blaine leaned in closer, his face scrunched up in whispered horror. “So many candles, Kurt. So many candles! I keep expecting the fake snow to catch fire.”

Kurt didn’t mind the closeness and his not-his-co-star-often-enough was adorable. “Aren’t the candles fake too?”

“You would think, but Sylvester wanted realism.”

“Sue Sylvester?”

“The very one. Have you worked with her?”

Kurt nodded with a patient sigh. “Too many times. Got to sing in French once though which landed me an international commercial.”

“That’s nice. Send me a YouTube link. I’d love to see it. Who’s your director?”

“Schuester.”

“Creepy Schue?”

“That’s the one. For all his lurking by the trailers and love of locker room scenes and Journey songs, he’s at least he’s better than Pedo Ryerson.”

“True. I don’t know why Hallmark keeps hiring him.”

Kurt waved down the bartender and ordered another drink. He was going to regret it, but gods, it was hot and the fan the bar had set up to compensate for the hotel’s broken air conditioning was doing nothing to cool him off. “I heard he has dirt on Josh Groban; blackmailable dirt. At least I have Sheldon Beiste for Santa. Who’s yours?”

“Ken Tanaka. The guy they hired got a better offer and quit last minute.”

“That sucks.”

Blaine shrugged. “It is what it is. At least he’s only in a few scenes instead of a primary role.” He took a deep breath, gathering up the courage to ask what he really wanted to…in a roundabout way. “How’s Chandler?”

Kurt winced at the name. “I assume he’s fine. We broke up before he left with a touring company of Rent.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks, but it was for the best, I think. How are things with Sebastian?”

Blaine pinched his nose and let out a long sigh. “He told me he couldn’t take sleeping with an actor who continued to not take the craft seriously, and then signed on with some new CW high school drama.”

Kurt choked on the sip of drink he’d just taken, fighting in vain the brain freeze that came with it. “I auditioned for that show! They said I looked too young to play a teenager.”

“But you’re in your twenties.”

Kurt knew it was a rhetorical statement and now that he knew Blaine was single, and clearly fishing to see if he was, he decided to make his move. “How long are you in town for? Maybe we could get dinner sometime…or breakfast since you’re doing so many night shoots.”

Blaine couldn’t help but grin at the offer. “Another two weeks, and I’d love that. Let me give you my number. It’s changed since I saw you last. Or, I’m in Room 169 if you want to reach me that way.”

Kurt didn’t hold back his smirking laugh as he handed Blaine his phone so he could enter his number. “169?”

“I didn’t pick the room, Kurt.”

“Oh, but I bet it’s a fun one.” The realization that he’d said that out loud dawned on Kurt as he looked at his phone when it buzzed with a text from “Christmas Blaine,” “It could be.” Maybe working the Hallmark Christmas movie circuit wouldn’t be so bad this year.

—-hopefully, to be continued—–


	4. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: Deputy, Paper
> 
> Summary: Continuing just a few weeks from where Part 1 left off, semi-famous actor!Kurt, semi-famous actor!Blaine work the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit in true B-actor form. Happy fluff. Rated PG. This is a verse that's been kicking around in my head for a year. It's an attempt at combining multiple favorite tropes with a nod to @chasingkerouac for getting me hooked on cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies. Unbeta'd due to time constraints, so the typos are all mine. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles. For those not familiar with Canada, Squamish is a town in British Columbia that Hallmark has filmed Christmas movies in.

\-----------

"I'd say that I never knew I had a thing for men in uniform until I saw you in one, but that would be too cheesy."

Kurt looked up from the script he was reading and hastened to swallow the bite of lettuce and tomato. "Blaine! What are you doing here?"

"My movie wrapped and they needed some day actors for this one, so I thought I'd help out."

"You're choosing to be an extra on your day off?"

Blaine sat down and opened up his take out container; its contents similar to Kurt's. "Hey, that's _glorified extra_. I have two whole lines and they're both with you."

"Do tell!"

"Here's your Santa's Scrambled Eggs and Happy Holidays Toast, Deputy Burt. Let me know when you need a refill on that coffee."

“Off book already. I’m impressed!” It was then that Kurt took notice of what Blaine was wearing - snug fitting white pants, a holly green T-shirt, and a name tag that read, “Tinsel Town Diner” above the name “Ted.” There was even a classic soda jerk hat perched at an angle on his head. The stage make-up alone should have been the give-a-way, but with how much they both worked, it hardly registered anymore.

"It's all part of the craft. Four years of college and all those summers performing for Kings Island did not go to waste."

Kurt shook his head. "I'm still trying to get used to my character's name. Burt is my dad, not me."

"Kurt and Burt. Cute."

"My mom thought so. I have her middle name."

Blaine could see the sadness on his boyfriend's face and so dropped the subject. Their relationship was new and they were at work. It wasn't the place or time to ask. Instead, he touched the script Kurt had open, the white paper pages highlighted with yellow where Kurt's character was speaking. "Is that today's script? I don't see any blue pages. Tina said we were on blue." He held up his own copy of _A Toast in Tinsel Town_.

"No, it's a new one I signed on for. My friend Brittany wrote it and I felt obligated. Plus, it is one of the lead roles. Only..."

"Only, what?"

"This direction, could it be any more gay? And I say this as a guy who used to have a tiara collection and dressed up as Lady Gaga once. 'Close up on Keenan's forearm as his soulmark appears in a cascade of rainbow light revealing the name Joshua Flores.' And then the same thing happens to Joshua's arm, only with Keenan's name. His full name - Keenan Montgomery-Tubbington III. Poor guy is going to be in the make-up chair all morning."

"I don't think he'll mind. He'll get to spend that time with you."

Kurt paused at that, looking at his boyfriend sharply, and leaning in close. "That's very...open of you. Are we not exclusive? I thought we were exclusive."

Blaine bit back the laugh that was forming on his lips. "I'm your Joshua. My agent told me the news last night. Why do you think I wanted to see you today?"

"You couldn't get enough of Squamish summers and wilted Craft Services salad?"

Blaine met his boyfriend smirk the rest of the way across the table and placed a chase kiss on his lips. “You, the amazing and talented and deserving, Kurt Hummel, and I, your charming and adorable boyfriend, are going to portray Hallmark’s very first same gender, romantic lead couple in a Christmas movie. We’re going to be a hit on the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Channel!”

"So I get paid to kiss you."

Blaine couldn't help but kiss Kurt again. "Yes, that's exactly what you should take away from this."

Kurt was about to reply with a snarky retort to their witty banter when he heard the assistant director calling everyone to set. He closed the script and gathered his things as Blaine took care of their lunch remnants. "Ready for your big scene, Diner Ted?"

"Anything for you, Deputy Kurt." Blaine added a wink and a shameless appreciating stare at the way Kurt's costume emphasized the muscles of his chest and arms. There was no doubt about it, he definitely had a thing for men in uniform. 

_~to be continued_


	5. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: Exclude, Ribbon
> 
> Summary: Continuing from where Part 2 left off, semi-famous actor!Kurt, semi-famous actor!Blaine work the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit in true B-actor form. Happy fluff. Rated PG. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles. In this installment, Kurt and Blaine have started filming their next movie together.

\-----------

"Okay, this time, let's exclude the children. Not sure what the censors will allow so we'll do it a few ways." The director waited until the kids had been moved out of the scene before starting again. "Places! Let's take it from the top."

Kurt clasped Blaine's hands in his own, patiently holding still as the stylist combed a few stray hairs back into place. When action was called, he gazed fondly into his true love's eyes. "I never expected to meet anyone. Not here. Not ever to be honest. I'm so glad that I met you." He leaned in and kissed Blaine's lips, mouth closed, the barest of presses, as chaste as a mouth-on-mouth kiss could get.

Blaine poured all the joy and wonder he could into his eyes and soft smile as they pulled apart. "I'm so happy that I met you, too. I never thought I'd get the chance to fall in love."

Kurt gasped at the revelation, holding fast to the hands of the man he'd just kissed. "Love? You love me?"

"Of course, I do, Keenan. I felt it since that first day we met when you fell into my arms, tripping over the wrapping paper and ribbon."

Kurt blushed on cue and gave an embarrassed laugh. "Your workshop is a mess."

Blaine shrugged his shoulders and looked up through his eyelashes. "Say that you love me too."

"What? Of course I do! I love you, Joshua Flores."

"And I love you, Keenan Montgomery-Tubbington III."

Kurt laughed again. "You already said that."

"And I'll say it again and again! You're my soulmate."

Kurt gasped at those words. "My arm, it's tingling!" He removed his woolen coat and pushed up the sleeve of his knitted sweater.

"And hold still..." The director counted out the beats needed for the special effects team to transfer the image of the soulmark onto the actor's arm. "And cut. Okay, boys, we're going to get a couple more angles on that kiss, and then we'll run the scene again, this time focusing on Joshua. Good energy, Blaine. I like what you're doing. Kurt? Great work. You're really pulling off the innocence of Keenan well."

Kurt nodded his thanks and returned his costume to its starting state, helping the costume assistant brush off the fake snow. He didn't know why there was fake snow inside the toy workshop, but he'd stopped questioning things like that years ago. Hallmark Christmas movies were what they were and if the budget allowed for more snow, they were going to use it. 

Blaine shared a smile with his boyfriend as he too stood patiently as his costume, hair, and make up were tended to. "So how does it feel filming your first romantic, same gender kiss for Hallmark?"

"It feels like we're going to have a lot of fun laughing at the protesters. Maybe I'll sneak in and join them one morning. I saw a Facebook post where a bunch are flying up from the U.S. just to picket the set. Of course they think we're filming in Fort Langley, so it could take them awhile."

"I never get tired of your snark."

The director called out again, "Okay, boys, ready to get back to work? We're going to do just the kiss this time. Remember no tongue, no open mouths, no movement except for a gentle press."

Kurt knew his mic pack and the boom mic were hot, but he didn't care. He loved making his boyfriend laugh. "Work. Work. Work. Good thing we practiced a lot in rehearsal."

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	6. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: Feed, Festival
> 
> Summary: Continuing from where Part 3 left off, semi-famous actor!Kurt, semi-famous actor!Blaine work the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit in true B-actor form. Happy fluff. Rated PG. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles. In this installment, Kurt and Blaine continue to film the movie, "A Soulmate for Santa Claus."

\-----------

"Oh, my god, there's enough cookies here to feed a pack of horses. How many do you think are real?"

"Someone's hungry."

"I missed breakfast."

"It's your fault for picketing with those protestors."

"I thought it would be funny - one the homosexuals they were protesting out in their midst, secretly spreading his gay cooties. Instead I just got handed a bunch of flyers about how 'Jesus is the reason for the season', gays are going to burn in hell, and at least ten phone numbers from mothers who thought I'd be the perfect sweet boy to court their daughters. Court, Blaine! Not date, court! I need a shower, an exorcism, and that entire tray of snowman cookies." Kurt glared at the tables of fake food, placed there just to personally torment him. "This festival is going to take all day to shoot. It'll be hours before we get to break for lunch."

"Didn't you pack a Laurabar? You always have one on you."

"I gave it some little kid who was hungry and couldn't get anyone's attention. Not his fault his parents are crazy zealots."

"Aww, no wonder those women thought you were worthy of their daughters. You're a perfect gentleman."

"A perfect gentleman who only wants to hook up with other gentleman." A throat cleared angrily and Kurt stopped his ranting to realize that the child actors had arrived on set along with their upset stage parents. "Sorry. Long morning." He would have asked the kids how they were doing, but last time he'd done that, one had rattled off a resume' longer and more impressive than his would ever be. His morning had been depressing enough.

He was spared further parent glares when the director came up to the small group and shooed them away. "Kurt, Blaine, for this scene, you two have only recently met and are getting to know each other. You're going to be walking along, close, but not quite touching hands, admiring the desserts and handicrafts, stopping at the mark. Jenithon, when they do, you're to run up, tug on Blaine's coat, tell him to make sure he comes to your mom's booth for cookies, and then run off to play with Logan, Noah, and Sydney. Got that?" 

"I was one of the Lawrences in School of Rock on Broadway. So yeah, I think I got that."

Kurt wanted to rub his hand over his eyes, but didn't dare mess up his hair and make-up. "Kill me now, Blaine. Just get this day over with and kill me now."

Blaine rubbed at Kurt's shoulders. "Get through this day and I'll buy you a slice of cheesecake from that bakery you love on Main Street."

Kurt leaned into the needed touch, closing his eyes, and feeling some of the tension drain away from his mind. "Make it two slices."

"Deal."

Last minute adjustments were made to the set and Kurt and Blaine went to their marks. After background was told to start moving, action was called and they started walking along the town's snow-covered square lined with tables decked out in festive bunting and laden with assorted wares.

A bright-eyed, rosy-cheeked, tow-headed boy came running up to them and tugged on Blaine's coat. "Mister Flores! Mister Flores! Mom wants to make sure you come over to our table. She made her famous sugar cookies just for you!"

"I'll be sure to do that, Sammy. Tell your mom I'll be there soon!"

"Okay. I will! Bye!" 

Kurt watched the boy run off with his friends, throwing handfuls of powdery snow at each other, laughing. "Friend of yours?"

Blaine's expression grew sad as he stared at the kids and then focused back on Kurt. "Sammy and his mom have had it rough the last couple of years. First the plant shut down and then his dad died."

"So they baked you cookies? Shouldn't that be the other way around?"

"His mom told me that cookies help heal a wounded heart. They're a little gift of happiness and love." Blaine picked up a frosted cookie from a plate on a table, handing a dollar bill over the cheerful extra bundled in a thick coat and winter hat. After thanking her, he turned back to Kurt. "See, a perfect snowman. How could that not make you smile?"

Kurt beamed at the man beside him, reached for the cookie, and brought it to his mouth. 

"Cut! Kurt, don't eat the cookies!"

Kurt dropped the offensive item back on the plate. "Damn it, I knew they'd be fake!"

"They're not fake. They're just in limited supply. Can someone get Mister Hummel a Power Bar and bottle of water?" The director rolled his eyes as an assistant scurried away to do his bidding. He hated the town gathering shots enough as they were. Fifty extras, half a dozen kids all demanding enough lines to be in the credits, two dogs who wouldn't stop peeing on the fake snow, and now a lead who kept wanting to eat the props. Brooklyn Film Academy had not prepared him for this.

Guilty, Kurt wolfed down the energy bar and chugged half the water before handing it and the wrapper back to the assistant. He carefully wiped off his teeth on a napkin and handed that back too with a meek thank you. 

"Can we get on with the shoot now?"

Kurt poured all of his talent and NYADA training into a sincere and forlorn apology. "Yes, sorry. Thank you." Fortunately, the director seemed to buy it. He needed this job. This chance to prove he was leading man material in a groundbreaking movie. Well, groundbreaking for Hallmark and its viewers who had never heard of HBO and Showtime. Artie Abrams was considered the next great director who could take both the channel and his career in profitable directions. He had to stay on his good side. After taking a deep breath to center himself, Kurt took the prop cookie that had a bite artistically cut from it and held it to his lips, just as he'd been directed. When action was called, he spoke his lines with a shy smile. "Mmm, delicious. You were right, cookies are a gift of happiness." 

Blaine gazed at the man beside him with fondness. "I told you."

"All the kids seem to know you. How is that?"

"I have a small workshop over on Nicholas Lane where I make handcrafted toys."

"You sell them?"

Blaine shrugged, "A few, but most I give away." 

Kurt stared at his adorable new friend with wonder. "You make toys and you love cookies. It's almost like you're Santa Claus."

Blaine looked down with a blush and shuffled his foot in the snow. "I guess I am."

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	7. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 7: Gradual, Star
> 
> Summary: This chapter turned out more melancholic than I'd intended and with less plot gotten through too. That's what I get for writing at 4 in the morning again. There's lots more to come that I have in my head, so hang in there, folks. This continues from where Part 4 left off and takes place only a day or two later. As with all movies, "A Soulmate for Santa Claus" is not filmed in order. Kurt and Blaine's lives follow real time though. Hope that makes sense. Overall story plot: Kurt and Blaine are B-level actors working the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit. Mostly happy fluff. Rated PG. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles.

\-----------

Kurt looked up at the not-at-all starry night sky. This was the sixth take and honestly, he didn't know how much more "sincere, wistful, heartfelt, and forlorn but not in the typical girly way these movies go" he could be. But that's what the director wanted and so he had no choice but to try again. He conjured up the sadness of those first Christmases without his mom and of holidays spent alone in New York City because neither he nor his dad could afford to fly out to the other to be together. 

Action was called and he took a long, deep breath before he repeated the latest version of the lines he had memorized hours ago. "First star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might...I don't even know if those are the right words. I don't even know if I believe in you. But if you are up there, or someone or something is listening...I really need somewhere to belong, a sense of purpose, a morning where I don't wake up and wonder what's the use of going in to work if no one even knows I exist except as that guy who fetches coffee and files. And if it's okay with you, I'd like to stop being so lonely all the time. I don't need true love and romance, although, who doesn't want to meet their soulmate and get their mark? But I know that's not for me, so could I just have a sweet guy who will buy me hot chocolate and hold my hand as we walk through the park and talk about movies and books? Who's kind and generous and makes those around him better." Kurt laughed self-deprecatingly. "Okay, that's too tall of an order for a star. How about...how about this vacation not be for nothing and I get to relax and forget the world outside of this town exists. No stack of bills or broken water heater. No emergency texts asking where the Johnson file is. Just me and the snow and cups of hot chocolate drank by a warm fire. Thank you."

"And...cut. Much better, Kurt. We'll do it again to get coverage from a few more angles." Artie looked at his crew, staring at each directly to make sure they were paying attention to him. They were tired. He was tired. Everyone was tired and hated night shoots, but such was the nature of the biz. "After that, there should be enough darkness left to shots of Joshua staring at Keenan from the doorway of his workshop. B camera is ready to go, but I'd like to take principle directing on it if we have the time." Make-up, Hair, you fine with him? Great. Let's roll again, people!"

An hour later, Kurt was freed from the words of Keenan, emotionally drained now as much as the character was. He walked the two blocks from the town square to the building that was acting as the exterior of Joshua's workshop. A pan of a camera and a bit of editing would make it look like the locations were only a few feet away. 

Blaine greeted his boyfriend with a hug. "How'd it go?"

"Well, I think. Wasn't that hard to channel him, but still..."

"Exhausted?"

"Yeah."

"When's your call time?"

Kurt opened the bottle of water he had carried over with him, wishing it was coffee. "Not till noon, but Brittany wants me there early. She found that same plothole we did and is pissed that she wasn't consulted about the rewrite."

"Why do you have to go?"

"Because I'm her friend and I owe her a lot. Most people don't get her. They call her stupid, but she's actually one of the smartest people I know." Kurt took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Blaine didn't need to know all of the mishaps and trials of his past. Not yet and certainly not here when they were working. "When's yours?"

"8 a.m. It's a workshop scene with all the kids and with child labor laws..."

"The shoots always take forever. I'll ride over with you."

Blaine took Kurt's hands in his. The guy was more than exhausted. He'd been there, helping Kurt run his monologue in the privacy of their room and every moment they could spare. It was more than just the character's big emotional reveal to the audience. It was Kurt's time to prove that he was more than just the actor who could play the best friend, brother, or one of Santa's elves. "No, you should sleep in. You worked hard today."

"Brittany's meeting is at nine. I'll nap in one our trailers."

"Okay. When we get back to the hotel, how about you take a long, hot shower, and then I'll give you a backrub? And for dinner, I'll let you have the last of the leftover General Tso's chicken."

"You are man after my own heart." Kurt leaned in and kissed Blaine with a promise of things to come. "Maybe you could take that shower with me."

Blaine returned the kiss eagerly. "I love the way you think."

"Don't take long. Emote longingly for me."

"For you. For Keenan. Won't be hard."

Kurt really wanted to make a dick joke, but Artie chose that moment to arrive and start ordering people around. He watched as Blaine pulled down the sleeves of his white thermal shirt, walk over to the storefront set, and pick up the broom he would be sweeping the stoop with. Camera and lighting crew hastened to make adjustments once Blaine was in place where his stand-in had been moments before.

Kurt watched the takes from an appropriate distance away. He loved this moment. Hell, he actually loved the script, though he'd only admit it to Brittany and Blaine. Joshua sees Keenan wishing upon a star and longs for the same things. Well, not all the same things, but he does dream of a man to love and to be loved in return. That's what they both want. It's a sad and quiet moment, but Blaine's talent allows him to pour hope into it as well. This newcomer could be the man he's been looking for all his life. 

Kurt rubbed at his eyes. Of course he wanted that too. He wanted the Hallmark romance. Blaine could so easily be the one with his charm and generosity; always there for him and full of boundless energy. He'd fallen for costars before though and it rarely ended well. Yet there Blaine was, different in all the perfect ways.

The director pulled Kurt out of his wandering, sleep-deprived thoughts, and asked if he could run his monologue just off camera to see if it would pull any more emotion out of Blaine. Kurt had honestly thought the second take was perfect, but did as told. The sun was gradually rising and he wanted to get the day over and done with as much as everyone else.

_~absolutely to be continued_


	8. Title: A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 8: House, Gift
> 
> Summary: Hey, what happens when your sleep-deprived brain accidentally writes in a major plot hole? You blame it on the characters! lol This chapter continues from where Part 5 left off and takes place the next morning. As with all movies, "A Soulmate for Santa Claus" is not filmed in order. Kurt and Blaine's lives follow real time though. Hope that makes sense. Overall story plot: Kurt and Blaine are B-level actors working the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit. Mostly happy fluff. Rated PG. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles.

\-----------------

Keenan looks surprised and happy at the gift wrapped box Joshua hands him. "What's this?"

Joshua replies, "It's a gift."

Keenan is shocked. "But it's not even Christmas yet."

Joshua, "Things tend to get a bit busy on Christmas, so I thought you should have it now."

Keenan gives Joshua a look of curiosity. "What, do you have a lot of relatives you have to visit or something?"

Joshua laughs and deflects the question. "Something like that."

Keenan opens the box revealing a nutcracker dressed in simple pants, a sweater, and a coat. "A nutcracker? I hate to tell you this, but I'm allergic to nuts. My face swells up. I have to go to the hospital. It's a mess."

"Then don't think of it as a nutcracker. Consider it the handsome prince who comes into town to sweep some hopeful lad off his feet."

Keenan looks doubtful at this answer. "He doesn't look very prince-like. His clothes are quite plain."

"Well you see, that's his disguise. So he could walk among the common folks hoping to find the man of his dreams."

Keenan sighs. "I'm not so sure I believe in fairy tales anymore. And I'm sure I've never once met a prince in disguise."

There is a long moment as Joshua gazes with adoration into Keenan's eyes. "I have."

The moment is broken by a little girl running up to Joshua asking for his attention. "Mister Flores, could I have a doll for Christmas? One that likes to play superheroes and has braids just like me?"

Joshua crouches down to meet the girl at her level and smiles warmly. "I'll see what I can do."

April Rhodes, executive producer of the movie many were too afraid to touch, put down the script she had been reading out loud with Kurt, and turned to the rest of the people seated at the table. She tried to catch the director's eye, feeling he'd agree with her on this. "I don't see what the problem is. It's a perfectly good scene."

Brittany hated that she wasn't being spoken to directly. This was her story. "I never said it was a bad scene. I'm saying that it still doesn't fix the plot hole problem you all created when you changed the script without asking me." 

"All scripts change during production, Brittany."

"But you did it wrong! I wasn't my fault I had to go home for a few days. Lord Tubbington escaped from rehab again." Brittany turned to her friend for help.

Kurt scrunched his nose at the odoriferousness that was wafting from Brett. He smelled homeless and not in the clean-cut, just down on his luck, Hallmark movie way. He'd been to parties where there was cheap weed being smoked and even taken a hit or two himself. None had smelled as rank as that. April's thermos of more rum than hot chocolate wasn't much better. She was clearly the only reason Brett had gotten the job as script supervisor. "What Brittany is trying to say, and correct me if I'm wrong, Brit, is that the problem is with the festival scene. Keenan asks Joshua how he knows the kids and Joshua replies that it's because he has a toy workshop in town. This contradicts with the scene where the two kiss. There, Joshua tells Keenan that he fell in love with him the minute he slipped and fell in his workshop."

"We're not reshooting the kiss. Special effects already has the footage to create the soulmark and the big reveal at the end." Artie glared at those around him. "And we're sure as hell not reshooting the festival. Even if it was in the budget, _Welcome to Cookie Town_ has already started filming at that location." 

Kurt's stomach started to rumble. God, he really needed to get to the grocery store and restock his trusted snacks. He pulled out of his fantasies about Hallmark-perfect sugar cookies and tried to focus back on the director.

"What if we edit out the lines, Keenan, 'All the kids seem to know you. How is that?' Joshua, 'I have a small workshop over on Nicholas Lane where I make handcrafted toys.' and insert a new part where Joshua sees Keenan coming out of the Bed & Breakfast and asks if he'd like to go the festival with him, seeing as how he, Keenan, is new in town. Would that work for you, Brittany?"

"What do you think, Kurt?"

"I like it."

"Okay.:

"Great. I need those pages by this evening. Anyone know when the house we're using for the B & B exterior will be available again?"

The rest of the meeting dissolved into blurred a dates and times and logistics that were not his problem. Kurt gave his friend an encouraging smile as she too tuned the others out and began scribbling down notes and bits of dialogue. To this day, he didn't know exactly how Brittany had become a screenwriter, but he was grateful for it. The words she couldn't say right out loud, came across clear on the page and film. And her continued belief in magic made her a perfect fit the genre and channel. 

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	9. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 9: Incident, Latke
> 
> Summary: This chapter got a bit away from me, so I just ended it where I did for the sake of you all. Artie is probably a bit OOC because I haven't done a full rewatch in years. He's more of the director I needed him to be than canon Artie. Sorry about that. This chapter begins the day after Part 6. TW: for non-graphic reference to homophobic-motivated assaults. As with all movies, "A Soulmate for Santa Claus" is not filmed in order. Kurt and Blaine's lives follow real time though. Hope that makes sense. Overall story plot: Kurt and Blaine are B-level actors working the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles. Mostly happy fluff, but sometimes I get melancholic. Rated PG to maybe PG-13.

\------------------

Right as another take was called, the director yelled "cut," and began whispering in earnest to the producer and some other crew that had gathered around him. "What do you think is going on?" Kurt looked to Blaine who shrugged back, just as clueless. Their curiosity was stemmed only a few minutes later.

"Okay, people, gather 'round." Artie waited until he had everyone's full attention. "There's been an incident. A couple of protesters snuck onto the lot and have caused some damage."

Roz Washington, the tall and taciturn stunt coordinator crossed her arms and huffed out her question. This wasn't time for polite raising of hands waiting to be called upon. "What kind of damage?"

"Spray painted slurs on the trailers and a couple of the studio exteriors. A rack of costumes got trashed, and they stole the baby Jesus out of the nativity set."

"Was anyone hurt?" Kurt was grateful for the gentle press of his boyfriend's arm wrapped around him. They'd both experienced homophobia and had the scars to know how violent it could get. This was far worse than a group with signs.

"One of the costume assistants was knocked to the ground, but he's fine and being tended to." Artie waited until the uproar died down and continued. "They've caught one of the protesters, but are still looking for the other. So in the meantime, we're on lockdown. No one leaves the set and definitely no one is to leave the building. Keep your IDs visible at all times. We're going to press on and keep filming. The studio was prepared for this kind of thing and everyone who signed on to the project knew it would be controversial. We're all professionals and we're going to get through this day. Take ten to have some coffee and a donut and gather yourselves, then we'll get back to work."

There was murmuring all around as the group broke up into smaller ones, some heading to the craft services table, others checking the equipment, props, or people they were responsible for. "Do you want me to get you anything, Kurt?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Kurt gently pulled away from Blaine's embrace and nodded to where his messenger bag was lying on his studio chair. "I think I'll call my dad. Let him know what's happening before he hears it from one of the news feeds. OUT, The Advocate, MSNBC, one of them is going to pick it up once CBC does; probably before."

"I'll give you some privacy then. There's a cronut over there with my name on it."

"The way you sweet talk the craft service ladies, I wouldn't be surprised if that were literally true."

Blaine chuckled at Kurt's attempt at levity and left him to his phone call. He wished he was as close to his parents as Kurt was with his, but dwelling on such things wouldn't help matters. The day was going to be long and stressful enough as it was. 

* * * * * * * * * 

Kurt waited the beats needed for the editing team to splice together the footage of him opening the workshop's door with the interior scene that was being filmed today. When the time was up, he slowly walked forward, gazing all around him at the shelves, tables, and display stands filled with toys of every kind imaginable - dolls of all genders and skin tones, hand-painted trucks, trains, robots, and even a space ship. Kites and hot air balloons hung from the ceiling among the strings of Christmas lights and garland. At the center of the crowded shop was a wrapping station, brightly colored paper and ribbons spilling over the countertop and onto the floor.

"Keenan, you came!" Blaine bounded into the main room of the shop, the sleeves of his red jersey knit shirt pushed up to his elbows; a black tool belt hung low on his waist, partially covering a pair of red jeans. The costume designers had not been subtle for this scene.

"Of course I did. I had to come and see for myself why everyone in town loves this place. They clearly weren't exaggerating. Your workshop is amazing! Did you really make all of these toys yourself?"

Blaine blushed and chuckled at the compliment. "I had a little help. I designed most of them though. Let me show you around." He took Kurt's hand and as they started to walk, Kurt fell. Only, not where he was supposed to pretend to. Blaine held fast to his hand, trying to forestall the inevitable, as his boyfriend went down with a thud.

"Ow!"

"Cut! What the hell just happened?"

"I fell, damn it!" Kurt didn't know what hurt worse at the moment - his ass, his wrist, or his ego.

"If you were going to have your actors do their own stunts, then why am I here, Artie? I've got better things to do with my time." 

Kurt glared at the stunt coordinator. "I didn't do it on purpose!" He accepted the set medic's offer of help as Blaine backed away to give them space. After answering the woman's questions and agreeing to her treatment suggestions, he leaned on her as she helped him over to his chair. His foot was propped up on a crate and icepacks were wrapped around his now-shoeless right ankle and left wrist. An instant heat pack was pressed against his lower back after his coat and mic pack had been removed. He put a hand over his eyes, trying to shield himself from the pointed stare of the director as he came over to them.

"What's the verdict?"

"His ankle will be fine, but his wrist is definitely sprained. He should get an X-ray just to be sure there's not a hairline fracture."

"We're still on lockdown."

"I'm fine."

"Let the medic talk, Kurt."

"Give him half an hour. An hour would be better." Artie turned away from the pair in a huff. "That's lunch people. Forty-five minutes and keep your asses in this building. Rory, let me see the footage of the fall. Maybe we can use it."

"I brought you some food. It's Hanukkah Day, so there's latkes, loukoumades, rugelach, challah, and some cheese blintzes. I may also have snuck a napkin full of sufganiyot for when we're out of costume and there's no chance of the jam spilling out. The last thing I need is to get yelled at for that mistake again." Blaine scooted his chair closer to his boyfriend's, balancing both of their lunch containers as he did so.

"Thanks." Kurt liked the tradition Hallmark had started a few years back to be more inclusive during their Christmas filming season. They may not have many Hanukkah scenes or traditions publicly shown, which was of course, problematic, but at least for the cast and crew, it was acknowledged that not everyone celebrated Christmas.

"You going to be okay?"

"Part of me wants to worry that they're going to fire me, but the other part remembers how much footage we've shot already, so that's highly unlikely. Plus, I've had worse happen." Kurt accepted the take-away container and plastic fork from Blaine and began to eat as best he could one-handed. "Remember the ice skating scene in that movie we were in together, but only at the beginning? What was it called? _Snowbound in Christmastown_? I told them I could barely stand on skates, let alone move, but Sue insisted that I do it anyway. Even with an instructor, it did not end well. I had to finish the movie in a brace hidden under thick boots. I think there's maybe one full body shot of me in the entire thing. Sue was pissed. Wouldn't let me work for her the rest of the season."

"What got you back in her good graces?"

"I was the only countertenor available who could sing in French..."

"Most of these movies are made in Canada."

"...and looked the part for her vision of an elf choir."

"Oh, I almost did that one! Came down with a really bad case of the flu and had to back out."

"We shot that in June."

"You are as shocked as I was." Blaine wiped the crumbs from his mouth with a napkin and steadied the paper lunch container on Kurt's lap that was in danger of falling off.

Kurt laughed at his boyfriend's incredulous expression and thanked him for the help. "Tell me your favorite war story. The pain killers haven't kicked in yet, but having the time to catch my breath and spend more time with you out of character is helping." 

Blaine chewed on the bite of his sliced brisket thoughtfully before replying. "A few years back, when I got cast, again, as Cooper's onscreen brother, this time for _A Winter Wonder Night in a Northern Town on a Magical Christmas Eve_..."

"The longest, on the nose title, Hallmark has ever come up with."

Nodding his wholehearted agreement, Blaine continued, "Cooper tried to teach the reindeer how to point with their noses."

"No!"

"He thought it would add a Rudolphesque realness to the film."

"Rudolph isn't real."

"I'm not sure he actually knows that." 

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	10. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 10: Joke, Light
> 
> Summary: This chapter, with "the song wouldn't get out of my head" and "sometimes I think I'm funny" beginning, takes place the evening of Part 7 and continues into the next day. As with all movies, "A Soulmate for Santa Claus" is not filmed in order. Kurt and Blaine's lives follow real time though. Hope that makes sense. Overall story plot: Kurt and Blaine are B-level actors working the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles. Thanks to jfby12 for saying Elliot would be great to use in this chapter. Mostly happy fluff, but sometimes I get melancholic. Rated PG to maybe PG-13.

\-----------------

" _Feed me, Seymour. Feed me all night long! 'Cause if you feed me, Seymour, I can grow up big and strong._ " 

Blaine put down the plastic container of sliced fruit he'd been feeding his boyfriend. "I'd be really turned on by your low register and immediate recall of every _Little Shop of Horrors_ song, if I didn't know you were high on pain medication."

"I could go lower in other ways." Kurt giggled at his joke. "Tylenol 13 is the best thing Canada ever invented!"

"I don't think they invented it, Kurt."

"Who did?" 

"I honestly don't know." 

"Well they invented Tim Horton's coffee and honey glazed donuts. I love Canada!"

"I think you love just about everything right now, Sweetie. Do you want some more dinner or would you prefer getting ready for bed now? We have an early call time tomorrow. Got to get our soulmarks applied." 

The telltale sounds of Kurt snoring answered that question for him, so Blaine gently removed his boyfriend's jeans and button down shirt, leaving him in his underwear and t-shirt. He made sure the brace on his wrist was still secure and then pulled the sheets and comforter over him. After taking care of his own toiletry needs and stripping down as well, he turned off the lights and climbed into bed, loving how the man automatically snuggled against him.

"I wish you were my soulmate, Blaine."

"I wish you were mine too, Kurt."

* * * * * * * * * 

Kurt stopped trying to read the script in his lap. His wrist hurt too much to focus as the pain-free bliss of last night, not that he remembered much of last night, had worn off. "How much longer, Elliot?"

"Depends on how much more squirming you're going to do."

"Sorry, it hurts."

"I know, Kurt, but with the bruising and swelling, it's not just a temporary tattoo job anymore. Why did you have to go and injure the arm that needs to be pretty for the camera?"

"Because the set designer made the set a little too realistic."

"No, you're just clumsy."

Kurt turned to his boyfriend who was sitting at the hair and make-up station next to him, getting his own soulmark and make-up applied. "Not helping, Blaine."

"I got you Timmy's this morning."

Kurt smiled at the reminder and conceded defeat. "Okay, that helped."

An hour later, Kurt found himself back on the toy workshop set, only this time it had been expanded. Green screens surrounded the shelves of toys and cleaned-up wrapping station. A dozen extras were dressed as elves and he was grateful to not be one of them for once. He gave a small wave to the people he knew as Blaine did the same. 

There was extra security on the lot today and a guard posted just for their set. The other protester had been caught and the lockdown had ended only a few hours after his fall, but the studio wasn't taking any chances. He and Blaine showed the guy, Puck, according to his name badge, their ID's and were allowed to enter.

Before they could settle their phones and bags, the director came up to them. "How are you feeling today, Kurt?"

"Like my arm got run over by a truck, but I can deal with it."

"Anything broken? How's the ankle?"

"Nothing's broken and the ankle is better."

"Great." Immediate concerns over, Artie turned to more pressing matters. "I need wholesome, wondrous, high energy from you today. You are amazed at what you're seeing. You can't believe what Joshua is telling you. Then there's an excited acceptance when you do. Blaine, I need high energy from you too. You're in love with this man and fate has decided you belong together. Your dreams have come true. You're a bit worried though that he may not accept this. We're behind schedule as it is, so lets try to get this in as few takes as possible. Blocking run-through in ten." With a final glare at his actor's problematic wrist and pivoting spin of his chair, he left them. "Make-up, tone down the blush on Blaine. He's supposed to be Santa-like, not street walker. I need less street walker!"

"I think I saw that porno."

"Blaine!"

"Don't tell me you didn't too, Kurt. I've seen your browser history."

Kurt let out an embarrassed smirk as he accepted help from Blaine to settle his bag and hand him back his cup of coffee. "Fine, I did. I recognized the guy who played Hooker Santa too. He was a couple of years ahead of me at NYADA." He nodded at the actors coming towards them, grateful to end the current conversation. "Sheldon! Emma! It's good to see you."

Emma liked that the young actors respected her minimal touching preference. Too many in this business didn't and took offense if you didn't hug or make to kiss them on the cheek. "It's good to see you, too. Are you boys doing okay? I heard about what happened yesterday. Absolutely terrible. If you need to talk to anyone, I can give you the name and number of my therapist." 

"Thank you for your concern. We're fine." Blaine wrapped his non-soulmarked arm around Kurt and gave him a reassuring hug. "I'm thrilled you two were cast to play my parents. No one plays Santa better than you, Sheldon."

"When I saw the script and saw you boys were in it, I signed on immediately. This movie is going to be important to a lot of young kids and hopefully change the hearts of some parents too."

"Thank you. We think so too."

"Is this light really needed? No? Then get it out of my way. Have respect for the chair if not me, people! We've already had one injury. Let's not add another."

The small group tried not to be obvious in their hasty glances at their director. It was Sheldon who broke the silence that had fallen over them. "Did you see his production of _West Side Story_? It brought me to tears. The guy may be younger than you two and a task masker, but he has vision. He aint no piglet pretending to be a stallion."

All further conversation was halted as places were called and together they made their way to the set, finding their bits of colored marking tape among the expanse of special effects rigging green. They ran through the scene a few times, adjusting blocking and making sure everyone knew which ball on a stick their eyeline needed to be at when delivering certain lines. 

When Artie was satisfied, he took his place behind the monitors. "This is the big reveal, so let's make it a good one. And...action!"

Keenan stared at the mark on his arm and then at Joshua, then back at his arm before settling on the man standing next to him and his own name equally visible in rich brown script. "My name is on your arm."

Joshua beamed at Keenan. He loved everything about this man. The man of his dreams. The man whom the fates had destined him to be with. "It is. You're my soulmate."

"And you're mine. I can't believe this is happening to me. Has happened." He looked one more time at his arm. "I love you, but..."

"But what, my sweet Keenan?"

"Why does my soulmark say Joshua _Jingle_ Flores?"

Joshua chuckled, a blush creeping over his cheeks. "You really haven't figured it out yet?"

"Figured what out?"

Keenan followed Joshua's gaze and suddenly realized that his arm wasn't the only thing that had been transformed. What was once a workshop crowded full of toys was now a room so vast that he couldn't see the end of it. Tables and machinery and bins all full of toys and bits that would become toys filled the endless space. And all throughout it were people in green and white striped tights and green jackets with curved collars and hats perched upon their heads. Their heads with...were those pointy ears? No! It couldn't be! He turned back to the man he loved, the adorable man with a mess of black curls peaking out from under a red hat adorned with fluffy white trim. His red sweater patterned with reindeer, and white jeans tucked into black leather boots. "Joshua Jingle Flores...are you Santa Claus?"

Joshua took Keenan's hand in his own, wanting to stay connected for as long as he could in case his worst fears were to come true. "Not yet, but I will be. If you'll still have me. If you won't reject me if I was."

"Reject you? Why would I ever do that?"

"Because you wouldn't just have my heart. You'd have all of this. I've been waiting my whole life, dreaming of someone who would love me. I'd lost hope. But then you came along and you lit up my world and..."

"You're rambling, Joshua, just tell me the truth. I can handle it and I'm never going to leave you. I promise."

Joshua took a deep steadying breath, buoyed on by the appearance of his parents walking towards him. "In my family, when the next-in-line meets their soulmate and gets their mark, the title, the honor, of Santa Claus gets passed onto them. Keenan Montgomery-Tubbington III, I'd like you to meet my parents, Mister and Misses Santa Whitmore Flores Claus."

Joshua's mother gave him such a sweet and compassionate smile that Keenan couldn't help but see the family resemblance instantly. "It's a lot to take in, I know. I was the same way when I met John and got marked with his name."

"John?"

The man who was every artists' rendition of Santa Claus blended together into one flawless image, laughed exactly as the children's story described. "You can call me Santa if that's easier for you."

"And all of this is real? Your workshop...what is it, a portal to the North Pole?"

"I like him, Son. He's smart."

"I knew you would, Dad." Joshua turned to Keenan, hope brimming in his eyes. "Please, tell me that you're okay with this."

The question startled Keenan. "Okay? Of course I am. I love you and you love me! And I'm the happiest person in the world right now. I'm just taking in the fact that...I'm the soulmate of Santa Claus!"

 

_~absolutely to be continued_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have gotten the Tylenol wrong. Maybe it was Tylenol 3. My son was pretty hammered when he was on it and texting us after his surgery.


	11. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 11: Kidnap, Eggnog
> 
> Summary: This chapter took forever to finish because of RL stuff on top of the tumblr crap going on. As such, it's not as smooth as I wanted it to be. At least it's up now though. Sorry for the delay. I really do have a lot of it plotted out along with an idea for another fic with this Kurt and Blaine. It begins the day after Part 8. As with all movies, "A Soulmate for Santa Claus" is not filmed in order. Kurt and Blaine's lives follow real time though. Hope that makes sense.

\--------------

Kurt hated the eggnog scenes. Every Hallmark Christmas movie he'd filmed had at least one. With the directors, and Artie was one of them, who insisted on open cups and real drinking from them - there was always take after take. He'd never cared for the stuff even before he'd started doing these movies and his feelings on the matter had only gotten worse. Something no one seemed to understand. It wasn't a diet thing. It wasn't a lactose intolerance thing. It wasn't a vegetarian or vegan thing, and no, he sure as hell didn't want vanilla chai soy hemp rice almond milk non-egg nog instead. He just didn't like it. God, he needed coffee. That's what he wanted. Cup after cup of coffee with a few non-fat mochas thrown in for variety.

"Cut! Kurt, this is a party, not a funeral. Act like it! Props, refill the cups." 

"Can't I at least have plain milk?"

"No. You're an actor. Act like you enjoy it."

Kurt glared at his cup as it was filled back up with the vile substance. "I swear, Blaine, I'm going to kidnap Artie and force him to drink this crap until he pukes. Assuming I don't puke first."

"I heard that!"

"Fuck." Internally, Kurt cursed hot mics and the hot lights that made the eggnog smell even worse than it tasted. Then he cursed his boyfriend for actually enjoying the stuff. 

Blaine tried to cheer Kurt up. "Look at it this way, once we get through this part of the scene, there'll be no more drinking, only singing and dancing. And I know you love both of those things."

"I love them with you." It didn't matter that he'd accidentally said the words out loud. They were the truth. Be it on a movie set, in a bar, at a party, or in private, Blaine had always been his favorite person to partner up with. And now that they were more than just friends who frequently worked together, it was even better. "Buy me a drink or four to wash this taste out after we're done for the day?"

"Deal."

Six more takes and a handful of antacids later, Artie was satisfied and they were allowed to move on. This is the part Blaine had been looking forward to the most. "I can't believe you know her, Kurt!"

"I not only know her, she was one of my friends in high school." Kurt laughed at Blaine's fanboying which increased even further when the woman herself arrived on set in true, grand entrance form.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and people who are beyond such trivial limitations, I present to you, the incomparable, inimitable Miss Mercedes Jones." All eyes stared and voices fell silent as her client entered the space. Hands erupted into applause only a moment later. Exactly as she had intended. Lauren Zizes was as good at her job as Miss Jones was a performer. If good meant freaking awesome; which she was.

Mercedes slank into the room. Slank is what her manager called it - to walk with a sexy, determined grace. She was pretty sure the word had been made up, but it worked. It allowed her to be a diva without the negative attitude of one. That had been tried and done away with. It wasn't her. Finding the person she'd been looking for, she hastened her pace and gave the man a hug. "Kurt! How are you?"

"Mercedes! I'm good. It's been too long. You look amazing."

"I do, don't I?" Mercedes spun around to show off every inch of her crimson and gold sequenced gown, smoothing her hands over her luscious curves. She turned her full, charming and grateful smile upon the actor beside her friend. The man was bouncing in place so hard he was set to burst. "And who is this adorable boy beside you?"

"Mercedes, I'd like to introduce you to my boyfriend, Blaine Anderson."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Blaine."

"Oh, the pleasure is all mine! I have all of your albums, both the CDs and downloads. All legal and purchased, I swear. You are amazing! I cried at your concert in London last year."

"You are just too kind. Would you like a hug?"

"Yes, please!" Blaine leaned in eagerly, but only as far as was gentlemanly appropriate. He was hugging his idol and she was even more perfect in person than he could have imagined.

"I hear we're going to be working together today."

Blaine's eyes became even wider than they were before. "It's a dream I never thought would come true."

"Well then, let's get this show on the road so it can become a reality!"

The director came up to the trio as if on cue. He missed nothing on his set. "Sounds like a great idea, Miss Jones. I want less fawning from you, Blaine. You're supposed to know her already. Kurt, feel free to channel Blaine here. You're surprised. You're shocked. You're thrilled. You two have worked enough Hallmark Christmas movies to know how these scenes go. Miss Jones, if you wouldn't mind taking the stage and standing by the curtains. My assistant can show you your mark."

Artie turned from his leads and called out to the larger crowd of extras and supporting actors as he took his own place behind the cameras to check the framing of the scene about to play out. "Places, people! I want high energy. I want fun. This is a party and each of you is fortunate to be here today, so let's show it." 

Every Hallmark Christmas movie had a big singing number full of townspeople enjoying themselves and at least one of the main characters leading, or joining in, on the song. _A Soulmate for Santa Claus_ was not about to break the tradition. Being able to cast Mercedes Jones, not as a character, but as herself, gave a credibility to the movie that few other performers would have. She branched the breadth of musical genres and would bring with her fans with strong religious views that might not have watched a movie with two men as the couple otherwise. 

Blaine took his place on the small stage set up in what was supposed to be the town's gathering hall. He looked out at the crowd in their festive attire and soulmarks proudly on display, and saw the man he'd fallen in love with. He didn't need to get into Joshua's headspace for this scene. He was already there. 

"And...action!"

"Ladies, gentlemen, and all gentle beings, hi, I'm Joshua Flores. A few of you know me as the guy who makes the toys that your kids keep dragging you to come see." Joshua waited patiently for the laughter to die down. "But I believe more of you know our guest tonight who has graced us with her presence by stopping in along her way from yet another worldwide tour. It is my honor to present to you, the amazing and remarkable, Miss Mercedes Jones." 

"Hello, Everyone. Thank you for having me. I'd like to dedicate this song to my friend here. May he find the kind of love we all long for. And may he be blessed with the kindness he spreads to those around him. Hope. Love. Kindness. Generosity and a gentleness of spirit. That's what this holiday is all about. Brad, if you wouldn't mind. You know the one."

Artie held up his hand, counting out the beats as the camera slowly pulled back to reveal the piano player poised over the keys and Joshua stepping off the stage and into the crowd, then pushing back in to Mercedes. A steadicam operator took over the task of following Joshua. "And...action!" 

"May I have this dance?"

Kurt...Keenan...a blend of both, stared into the questioning man's eyes. There was only one answer and he gave it with as much as adoration as it was asked. "Yes, yes, you may."

"And...begin playback." The previously recorded music broke the silence of the space. Mercedes Jones took her cue and her powerful, rich voice filled the scene with the emotion it required.

They danced together, slowly, close, but not too close, together hands on waists and heads on shoulders, surrounded by the words that filled the air.  
__  
I don't want a lot for Christmas  
There's just one thing I need  
I don't care about the presents  
Underneath the Christmas tree  
I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas  
Is you...

The director waited until the steadicam panned around the couple getting as much footage as possible before he yelled cut. "That was a perfect take. Let's run it again to get close-ups."

Kurt was flush with emotion from the scene. It was different this time being the focus, getting to live in the moment with the man of both his and his character's dreams. He wasn't a background player - the supporting brother, the business executive's assistant forced to trail along to some small town in the middle of nowhere, the Christmas tree vendor, the deputy come to interrupt the straight couple's first kiss because there had been an accident and the leading man was needed to save the day. No, this time, this tropey, party musical number was for Keenan and Joshua, young Kurt and young Blaine, and all the other kids who had dreamed of the same - finding love and being surrounded by those who accepted it without judgment. He also had to admit that there was a small part of himself that delighted in getting paid to dance with his boyfriend and piss off the homophobes at the same time.

The next numbers they performed were rousing, upbeat versions of _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas_ and _Santa Claus Is Coming to Town_. Kurt wanted to believe that the latter was a bit too on the nose, even for Hallmark, and yet there he and Blaine were singing it up on stage with Mercedes. The director had told them the extra songs would likely be cut or parsed down, but wanted to get the footage anyway. At the least the tracks could be used elsewhere in the film.

When every bit of the town gathering scene was wrapped and Kurt and Blaine were packing up their things and trying to figure out if there was time for drinks with Mercedes later, her manager approached them. "You boys are cute. Lots of chemistry. Great voices. I'm seeing a Christmas album, maybe a cover of Broadway classics. Give my assistant a call and we'll set something up."

Kurt stared at the card now in his hand, then back at his friend. "Is this for real?"

Mercedes gave him a penetrating look. "Lauren doesn't play around. If she says you've got it. You've got it. Same thing I've been telling you all along, Boo. You deserve this." She smiled warmly at his boyfriend. "You too, Blaine. It was a pleasure working with you. I hope we can again."

"Wow! Thank you. And thank you, Miss Zizes. Kurt and I will definitely call you."

Kurt's bubble of wonder and happiness was broken by an assistant letting them know the set needed to be cleared. Lunch had been called and they'd be needed in Lot A afterwards for the Bed & Breakfast scene shooting at 2 pm. He hugged his friend goodbye with promises of getting together eventually. It had been a really good day so far, eggnog not withstanding. 

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	12. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 12: Language, Chimney
> 
> Summary: A short chapter that continues on the same day and just a few hours from where Part 9 left off. As with all movies, "A Soulmate for Santa Claus" is not filmed in order. Kurt and Blaine's lives follow real time though. Hope that makes sense. Overall story plot: Kurt and Blaine are B-level actors working the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles. Mostly happy fluff, but sometimes I get melancholic. Rated PG to maybe PG-13.

\--------------

Jan called up the curved staircase, sure her guest would hear her. And being the only guest currently in their room at the Northern Lights Bed & Breakfast, she wouldn't disturb anyone else. "Keenan dear, you have a visitor!" She beckoned the young man inside. "Come in on out the cold. No need to wait outside."

"Thank you. I've always wanted to see the inside of this place! I've always admired the architecture. The chimney is magnificent; very well constructed and I've heard the owners are a stickler about its maintenance."

"You're too sweet. I happen to be one of the owners, Jan. Though I have to admit my partner, Liz is the one in charge of maintenance."

Keenan laughed at his new friend as he descended the stairs, "Fan of chimneys are you?"

Joshua shrugged with a fond smile on his face. "They've always held a certain appeal for me. I get it from my dad."

"I love that chimneys have fireplaces you can warm up by with a cup of hot chocolate and a cozy blanket. Forget about all the stresses in your life for awhile."

Joshua held up a thermos and cloth covered basket. "Well, that's why I'm here. I brought you hot chocolate and some of those cookies you seemed to enjoy from the festival."

"More moms baking you cookies?"

"I can't help that they do. It just seems to happen."

"Well, you are adorable. If I knew how to bake, I'd probably make some for you too."

Joshua blushed at the compliment. "I like your sweater. It looks very warm and festive."

Keenan looked down at the red, green, and white knit monstrosity he was wearing. At its focus was a jolly Santa Claus petting Rudolph as kittens and puppies played with the wrapped presents under a Christmas tree. A string of colored lights framed the scene and he was honestly surprised they didn't light up. "I was browsing through the stores on Main Street and this one shop owner insisted that everyone needed a festive Christmas sweater. Between you and me, I think he was just trying to foist clearance stock onto unsuspecting tourists."

"And yet you still bought it."

"Yes, I did." Keenan gave a self-depreciating laugh and gestured towards the inn's living room where a much more tastefully decorated Christmas tree stood near a roaring fireplace and throw blanket covered rocking chairs. "Would you like to sit by the fire and admire the chimney up close? This sweater isn't as warm as you'd think it would be."

"I would love to."

"Cut! Kurt, I need your body language to be more innocent and wholesome, less I want to jump him on a bearskin rug by the fire. Blaine, you're holding the thermos the wrong way. The label has to face the camera or we lose out on the advertiser's money. Jan, you were just fine. Thank you for coming in to do this so last minute. Let's reset to One, people."

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	13. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 13: Momentum, Ornament
> 
> Summary: This is not the chapter I set out to write initially and therefore is out of sequence with Kurt and Blaine's real lives timeline-wise. As for the movie, "A Soulmate for Santa Claus," this is the first scene that airs. It was great fun creating it. I channeled a scene from "The Fosters" which had the most obvious product placement for a vehicle that I have ever seen. Overall story plot: Kurt and Blaine are B-level actors working the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit, where they are currently portraying the romantic leads. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles. Mostly happy fluff, but sometimes I get melancholic. Rated PG to maybe PG-13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I know nothing about Kia other than "I own one of their SUVs and love it," and didn't want to give free advertising to a company that would be featured just as prominently in part 14, I've decided to ditch the real brand name and come up with something of my own. It's cheesy and obvious, but this is a fic about the making of a Hallmark Christmas movie. On tumblr, the original version exists in reblogs as there was no way to fix that.

\------------

"Sarah, I'm sure no one will miss me except to complain about the coffee or mail not being delivered by That Guy. They don't even know my name. Gary from Accounting thinks my name is Keith. Chastity, the new VP of Marketing, keeps calling me Joe, and Karen in Human Resources has Keegan on half my paperwork."

"But I'll miss you, Keenan."

Keenan sighed. The years of indifference towards him by coworkers had built up to the point where he finally had the momentum to leave. At least for a little while. "You're the only one."

"When are you coming back?"

"Two weeks. I wish it was never though."

"But you'll miss Christmas in Chicago!"

Keenan smiled at the festive ornament he'd hung from the rear view mirror and bit of garland he'd strung over the sliding, auto-folding rear seats. "I brought a bit of Christmas with me and I think I'll have no problem finding more where I'm going. The town's website said it was known for its Christmas traditions."

"How's the drive going?"

"Just fine. I love my New Directions Journey with its V6 engine. The GPS is voice activated and so accurate that I know I'll never get lost. The patented Regionals All Wheel Drive uses electronic sensors to monitor road conditions and distribute power to the appropriate wheels, which helps with traction and control, making these snowy roads a breeze. During times like these, when it is snowing, the heated wipers clear my windshield with ease. I'm never cold with seat warmers that are like a heating pad sent from heaven. And Sarah, you wouldn't believe the cargo room! I could fit three kids, a dog, and all of our ski equipment."

"You don't have three kids and a dog, and I've never heard you mention that you ski."

"Well, if I did have those things, I could fit them all in my New Directions Journey. It's amazing! It's he best vehicle I've ever owned."

Sarah laughed, humoring her coworker's enthusiasm. "Well, I should let you go. It's not safe to talk and drive."

"Oh, that's okay. With my New Directions' Better Than Bluetooth wireless technology, I have hands-free connectivity and never have to worry about taking my eyes off the road."

"That's wonderful, but I really should get back to work. Karen is glaring at me for being on the phone this long. Go, enjoy the drive and singing along to all those Christmas carols I know you love so much."

"My New Directions Journey has an AM, FM, CD, MP3, and SiriusXM audio system with a six inch touch-screen display and the eight speakers come standard. My music options are practically endless and I feel like I'm at the front row of a concert every time. When I want to check on the weather or listen to some news, switching stations is easy. I have never enjoyed a road trip this much."

"Okay, have fun. I'll talk to you later. Bye, Keenan."

"Bye, Sarah."

"And cut!"

Kurt shook himself and stepped out of the prop vehicle and onto the set covered in green screen material. "I feel dirty now."

"Suck up your shame. That scene just paid for the first twenty minutes of this movie. And don't forget that you're scheduled to do a Pride promo spot for them too."

"I remember."

"Great. Get back in the SUV and we'll run it again from a few different angles. New Directions wants to see it a few different ways to make sure they're getting their money's worth."

Kurt held still while the stylist adjusted the knit cap on his head and made sure his hair was artistically perfect. The make-up artist was next, reapplying a bit of blush to his rosy cheeks. The combined effect would make him boyishly handsome on film. If they could do their job for this scene without complaint, so could he. He climbed back into the vehicle and for the next six takes rattled off his lines with an ease that would have made his dad proud. And if he was being honest with himself, specially constructed prop or not, he was enjoying the Journey's roomy interior and plush leather seats.

_~absolutely to be continued_


	14. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 14: Negligence, Candy Cane
> 
> Summary: This chapter continues from where Part 13 left off. As with all movies, "A Soulmate for Santa Claus" is not filmed in order, but I try to have Kurt and Blaine's lives follow real time as often as possible. I'm also currently piecing together, and fleshing out a bit, the Hallmark movie so it can be read in its entirety when this fic ends. Overall story plot: Kurt and Blaine are B-level actors working the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles. Mostly happy fluff, but sometimes I get melancholic. Rated PG to maybe PG-13. Blame any inconsistencies on Stoner Brett. I'm not the one who hired him.

\--------------

At long last it was time to film the scene Brittany had hastily written to correct the plot problems Brett had caused. The team was back in Squamish, taking up the entire blocked off street in front of the grand Victorian home that was serving as the exterior of the Northern Lights Bed & Breakfast. Fake snow had been artfully piled upon the sun-scorched grass and edges of the street and sidewalks. Personally, Kurt thought the driveway, street, and sidewalks were too clean for a winter scene, but he also knew it was cheaper to not use snow than it was to use it and try to hide the tracks of the camera trolley and crew footprints. 

He took his mark that had been placed ten paces from the fake Northern Lights Bed & Breakfast and when action was called, raised his prop cellphone into the air and began walking back towards it.

Keenan was lost. It was a small town. How could he be lost? His phone wasn't getting a signal no matter which way he held it up in the air and without a signal, he couldn't get a GPS lock for his map app to work.

"Hi, can I help you? You seem lost."

Keenan looked away from his phone and found himself staring at the most adorable man he'd ever seen. A mop of curly black hair was contained by a deep crimson beanie. A thick red and white snowflake patterned long sleeve shirt showed off strong biceps that the puffy, red, down vest accentuated. The black jeans hid what were surely muscular legs and likely a nice butt too. But what was most attractive were his cocoa brown eyes and easy grin. He had seen handsome men before, but this one, this one was like every best dream rolled into one. It took him a moment to catch his breath and find his voice. "I am. I only arrived at the Northern Lights Bed & Breakfast last night. They offer breakfast, but I was hoping to find some lunch. Only..."

"Only you got lost?"

"I did. I thought I had the directions I was given memorized, but apparently not."

"Let me help. Small towns can be confusing sometimes."

"Thank you..."

"Joshua. Joshua Flores. I have workshop where I make toys and other delights not too far from here." Joshua raised an eyebrow, waiting in anticipation to learn the boyish handsome man's name. His blue-green eyes were stunning and enhanced by the forest green of his pea coat and matching hat that only half covered his tousled, chestnut hair. "And you are?"

Keenan put his phone in his coat pocket and held out his hand, wishing there weren't layers of fleecy gloves between his own and Joshua's skin. "Oh, sorry. I'm Keenan. Keenan Montgomery-Tubbington III. It's a mouthful, I know, and clearly a family name that I was unfortunately burdened with."

"It's okay. Mine's a family name too." Joshua gave a bashful grin and titled his head towards the center of town. "There's a great diner on the corner of Holly and Evergreen, but if you have a bit of a sweet tooth, there's the annual Christmas festival going on. You won't find better homemade baked goods anywhere."

"It sounds wonderful! Lead the way!"

The two strolled along the sidewalk, admiring the festive decorations of large plastic candy canes, frolicking reindeer, large red bows, and ornament-adorned wreaths that surrounded them. Not one storefront or crosswalk had been neglected. Even the trees had been attired with strings of white lights. 

"So tell me, Keenan Montgomery-Tubbington III, what brings you to Mistletoe?"

"Same reason most people I guess - to get away from it all. Forget about life out there in the world." Keenan gasped and put a hand over his mouth, realizing his faux pas. "Not that this isn't the real world or anything."

Joshua chuckled. "It's okay. We are pretty remote out here. It's part of its appeal. So what are you trying to get away from?"

Keenan's sigh was long as he contemplated how much he should reveal to this new man. The ones he met usually ran away the minute they found out what he did for a living. And the ones that stuck around wanted only one thing from him. Bravely, he decided to go for it. Small town or not, he could avoid one person if it all came crashing down on him. "Being a nobody for a company that only sees that you never finished college instead of the potential and skills you have to do more than fetch coffee and file reports that no one will remember or care about after the project is over."

"I'm sure your work is important."

"It's really not. It's just people being too lazy to do it themselves and looking down upon those they thrust it upon. I had dreams once, you know? But I think those got lost in the bowels of the basement along with the Henderson file." In response to Joshua's quirk eyebrow, he added, "It was a pretty big file. Really old. Lots of dust and I'm pretty sure I saw a stone tablet and hieroglyphs in part of it."

"No Ark of the Covenant or secret passage to King Tut's tomb?"

"I'll have to look sometime." Keenan waved his gloved hand in the air, dismissing the subject. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling and talking too much about myself."

"It's okay. I like talking to you. You're interesting."

"I'm not interesting, Joshua. I'm just boring ol' Keenan. So unremarkable that no one remembers my name or even notices me."

Joshua couldn't help but to gaze upon the man walking beside him. "I'd notice and remember you anywhere, Keenan."

Keenan blushed at the compliment and stopped by the first of many festively decorated booths. "So is this the famous fair the town's website bragged about?"

"It is! And you must try Ms. Joy's lemon bars. They are truly remarkable."

Keenan put his hands on his heart as he bounced on his toes. "How could I resist? It would be such horrible negligence on my part to do so. And as a visitor, it would only be proper to sample as much as this town has to offer."

"I like the way you think."

"I like that you suggested it."

"And...cut. Great take, everyone. Take five to cool off while we reset to One."

Now relieved from the confines of a character and being forced to play along with his scene partner, Kurt asked the question he couldn't before. "Blaine, when did it switch from cookies to lemon bars?"

"This morning. It's on the goldenrod pages."

"Goldenrod? I only have pink."

Artie was pissed at what he was hearing and turned in his chair searching for the culprit. "Tina!"

A force of nature in black Docs and long, cobalt blue streaked hair stormed up to the group. "Don't yell at me, Artie! Blame Brett and his stoned out ass. If you'd brought me in from the beginning, you wouldn't be having these problems. Kurt, can you share with Blaine for now? I promise we'll get you the new pages as soon as possible."

"Sure. It's okay. I was just wondering is all. Sorry."

Tina Cohen-Chang's expression softened. She'd worked with Kurt Hummel a number of times. He had always been prepared, no matter the size of the roll or time of day his scenes shot at. "You shouldn't have to apologize. It's not your fault."

"Thanks."

"Take off your coat. Grab your fan and some water. Then go over the script. Your improvisation was fine, but it's better to know what's coming."

"I will. Thank you."

When the two of them were left alone, well, as alone as anyone could be on a location shoot, Blaine put a comforting arm on his boyfriend's shoulder. "You okay? You look a little upset."

"It's...I think it's a bunch of things. I don't like being unprepared. This heat is killing me. And I'm either still hung over from those drinks with Mercedes or that eggnog gave me food poisoning."

"Anything I can do to make you feel any better?"

Kurt leaned further into his boyfriend's embrace. "You already are."

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	15. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 15: Orange, Turkey
> 
> This chapter continues from where Part 12 left off. Lots of melancholy here as we get the Hallmark Lead Character's Tragic Backstory. TW for mention of two non-canon character deaths. Thanks to chasingkerouac for the suggestion to put in another Obvious Advertiser Plug. As with all movies, "A Soulmate for Santa Claus" is not filmed in order, but I try to have Kurt and Blaine's lives follow real time as often as possible. I'm also currently piecing together, and fleshing out a bit, the Hallmark movie so it can be read in its entirety when this fic ends. Overall story plot: Kurt and Blaine are B-level actors working the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles. Mostly happy fluff, but sometimes I get melancholic. Rated PG to maybe PG-13. Blame any inconsistencies on Stoner Brett. I'm not the one who hired him.

\--------------

Joshua spotted a familiar forest green pea coat and the handsome man wearing it. He bid a friendly goodbye to the family he had been chatting with, and hastened across the street to catch up with him. "Hi, Keenan, are you lost again?"

"Joshua, hi!" Keenan beamed at his new friend. His new, how could anyone look that adorable in a red parka he didn't know, friend. "I don't think so. I was out for a stroll, taking in this amazing fresh winter air."

"It's freezing!"

"But it's not freezing in Chicago. That's the difference."

Joshua couldn't help but laugh at the counter argument. "You make an excellent point. It's still cold though. How about a cup of coffee or some hot chocolate to warm us up?" He pointed to diner they were standing near.

"I like the way you think!"

* * * * * 

Kurt stretched as far as the diner table would allow him to. At least he and Blaine were at a booth with padded bench seats. To have to film this scene while sitting on one of the wire cafe' chairs would have had his ass hurting for a week and not in the fun way.

The set designers and costumers had gotten creative with this set and he appreciated their unique creativity. Usually, diners were dressed the same as the rest of the town with the typical strings of lights (colored or white,) fake pine garland, tinsel, bulbs, and red bows. Sometimes Santa hats were on the servers and maybe Santa and his reindeer-pulled sleigh was painted on the storefront's window. Of course Brittany's script had a lot to do with this particular set. Instead of going with the usual diner named after the town, she'd chosen The Milk & Cookies Diner. It had passed all the script screeners, the producers, the censors, production, and accounting. With such approvals, the rare chance to be creative on a Christmas movie had brought forth the best diner set he'd ever worked. He and Blaine both wished it was real. 

Plastic and art print cookies of every type imaginable hung on the walls. Since it was Christmas, gingerbread and cut out sugar cookies were the focus. The wait staff wore aprons of fabric in various cookie prints and their name badges were little gingerbread people. Though the tables were the standard red and white he'd seen on other sets, the plates and napkins were festive in their Santa Claus prints. 

What delighted Kurt the most was that there were little glasses of milk and a small plate of cookies set inside the kind of cookie tin every grandmother had whether she used it for sewing supplies or not. And unlike the festival shoot, the cookies were real and the prop master reassured him they had plenty on hand. 

As a favor to her on again, off again girlfriend, Santana was playing their waitress. She slid into the booth beside Blaine. "Move over. Elf King. My mouth hurts from having to smile this much and the shoes they put me in are too small. Not that you'd know anything about that."

Blaine thought about protesting, but honestly, it was better than most of the names she'd called him before, and this time, it actually sort of fit. 

As much as Kurt loved the decor and loved the scene they were filming, he was bored. Technical problem after technical problem kept interrupting each take, often preventing them from even starting, and the delays were adding up. He was lucky if they'd be finished by dinnertime. The trio had already exhausted the usual topics such as next projects - He hadn't decided but really liked the _Law & Order_ guest spot he'd auditioned for as it was a refreshing deviation from his usual roles. Blaine was signed on as one of the clueless detectives chasing the romantic leads in a Hallmark Christmas movie called _A Caper in Christmas Falls_ , and Santana had been asked to reprise her role as the spokeswoman for Yeast-I-Stat now that the product was no longer banned by the FDA and similar health organizations in multiple other countries.

There was the usual celebrity gossip of which Santana had plenty. However the last thing either Kurt or Blaine wanted to hear about was how some members of CW's new show, _Vampire High_ , most notably, Sebastian, were sleeping around with the casts of _Spy School_ and _Time Traveling Lesbian Assassins_. Kurt was certain those weren't the actual names of the shows given that he'd auditioned for two of them, but didn't feel like correcting her. The names were accurate enough.

The trio had even gotten to the point of discussing the shops in Squamish and how the gym had finally replaced their outdated treadmills and leg press machines. 

When that was done and silence had started to fall over them again, Kurt started flipping through the fake restaurant's fake menu. The prop people had had fun with the pages that wouldn't be seen on camera. He counted at least six dishes involving reindeer meat, two sex acts written in French, and another that involved Santa Claus, an elf, and Rudolph locked in an anatomically impossible orgy. At least he thought it was impossible. Just as he was about to ask Santana and Blaine their opinions on the matter, places were called. He prayed to the Hallmark gods of cheesy Christmas movies that they could get through the entire scene this time. Knowing his luck, a light or mic would fall on his wrist that was finally starting to heal and hurt less often.

Keenan and Joshua had just settled into the booth when their waitress approached, handing them each a menu. "Hello, my name is Angelica and I'll be your server today. Our specials are Chestnuts Roasting Over an Open-Faced Turkey Sandwich, Good King Wenceslas Feast of Pan Seared Steak & Salmon, and Orange Glazed Dance of the Sugar Plum Pudding."

Keenan leaned over the table to whisper to Joshua. "I always wondered what plum pudding was."

Angelica tapped her pen on her order pad and looked over the rims of her cat-eyed glasses. "You really don't want to know."

"Cut! What the hell, Santana?! Just say the damn the lines as they were written." Artie knew the minute this shoot was over there was going to be drinking. A lot of drinking. "Take it from Keenan's last line." He waited until his actors were back in place. "Action!"

Keenan leaned over the table to whisper to Joshua. "I always wondered what plum pudding was."

Angelica beamed at the adorable couple seated at her table. Joshua was a regular, but the gentleman he was with was clearly new to town. She was determined to make his dining experience as wonderful as possible. "Well, traditions vary according to the times and region of the world you're in, but ours is a delightful blend of minced raisins, molasses, cinnamon, nutmeg, and then steamed to perfection. It's delicious warm. I can bring out a sample if you'd like to try it first."

Keenan returned the waitress's smile. "Thank you. I'll think about it."

"Wonderful. Can I get you two anything to drink while you look over your menus?"

"Hot chocolate would be perfect on a day like this."

Joshua smiled fondly at Keenan. He was a man after his own heart. "I'll have what he's having, but with extra marshmallows and whipped cream, please."

"I like the way you think, Joshua! Could you make mine the same?"

"Absolutely. I'll be right back."

With a small flick of his hand, Joshua gestured towards his companion's outfit - the cheerful green cardigan, white button down shirt, and red printed tie were perfect and adorably handsome. "I love the Santa head print of your tie."

"Thank you. I thought it was small enough to be festive without being obvious and garish, you know?" Keenan blushed in embarrassment, thinking he'd gone too far given the sweater that Joshua was wearing of bolder, full body Santas in rows on a white background. "Not that your sweater is! It works for you."

Joshua laughed and took Keenan's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay. I wasn't insulted. I think we both have good taste."

Their conversation was briefly halted by the return of their server. 

"Here are your mugs of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and I added extra whipped cream too. And here are some complimentary milk and cookies to snack on while you wait for your order. Have you gentlemen decided what you'd like?"

Keenan gasped. "I'd forgotten to look. Umm..." He flipped through the menu quickly. "Everything seems so good. Joshua, you've been here before. What do you recommend?"

"Personally, I like the Twelve Days of Christmas Appetizer Platter. The golden rings are onion rings and the partridge in a pear tree are these little crispy chicken bites with a honey-pear dipping sauce."

"It sounds perfect! Split it with me?"

"Absolutely." Joshua turned to the waitress with a smile. He enjoyed all the staff here and knew them each by name. "We'll have the Twelve Days of Christmas Appetizer Platter and could I get an extra glass of milk, please?"

"Of course." Angelica wrote the order down and took the menus from her customers. "It'll be just a few minutes. If you need anything else, let me know. Enjoy your milk and cookies." 

Keenan turned to the items Angelica mentioned and scrunched up his face in delight. "Milk and cookies in a cookie tin! My grandmother had one just like this that she kept buttons in. I loved going through it. She had a story for every button, even the plain ones she bought as backups."

"I think every grandmother and even quite a few grandfathers have one."

"And look at these cookies! They're adorable! Little presents and mittens and oh, is that a Christmas bunny?"

"A Christmas bunny?"

"One year all my mom could find was our Easter cookie cutters, so we made Christmas bunnies and made snowmen from the egg-shaped ones, Christmas trees from the carrot. It was a lot of fun. From then on, every year, we made Christmas bunnies."

Joshua picked up the cookie in question. It looked more like a reindeer whose legs had gotten broken off, but he wasn't about to disappoint Keenan and take away his joy. "I think it is a Christmas bunny. Maybe word has gotten around as to the importance of this Christmas tradition. Do you still make them with your mom?" Joshua immediately regretted what he'd said as the light left Keenan's eyes and sadness filled the space.

"No. She died a few years ago along with my sister. There was a car accident. They were having a mother-daughter day out and walking home when it happened. Some guy was pulling out of his driveway and didn't have New Directions' Ride with Me patented rear view camera technology. If they did, it wouldn't have happened. The doctors did all they could for weeks, but there were complications, and..." Keen put down the cookie he'd been fiddling with. He couldn't bear looking at it anymore. "They never did make it home."

Joshua's heart was broken. There was too much tragedy in the world. "I am so very sorry, Keenan. Is that why you're here in Mistletoe for Christmas? Because you don't have any family to spend it with? You don't have to answer if it's too painful or personal."

Keenan looked at the man sitting across from him. He was the first person in a long time to actually seem to care about him. Sarah at work may have asked what he was doing for the holidays, but not why, and he was sure she wasn't giving a single thought about him since that conversation they'd had over the phone. Joshua's concern was genuine. He took a deep, calming breath followed by a soothing sip of his drink and decided to open up a little more. There wasn't much left to say after-all. "This hot chocolate is really good. I can see why you love this place." 

Keenan took another fortifying sip, wiped his mouth off with a paper napkin, and shared thoughts and feelings he hadn't felt comfortable expressing out loud to anyone in years. This time, he didn't think he would regret it. "My mom and sister's deaths are why I had to drop out of college. Even with financial aid, it was just too much on top of the hospital bills. They were so many and then came the funeral expenses and with the loss of mom's income it was too much. Of course when you drop out, your student loans have to start being paid back. And without a degree, I can't progress in the company I work for. I swear I'm a walking cliché about the failures of the American education and health care systems." 

He reached for a cookie and nibbled on the corner of a yellow sugar covered box shaped present with a red icing bow. "My dad helps when he can, but photojournalists don't get paid as much as you wish they would. He married this really sweet woman who's a doctor. They're in...Actually, I'm not sure what country they're in right now. She works for Doctors Without Borders and he's photographing her work, the conditions of the people they're helping. They're doing what I always wanted to do. Not necessarily in that way." Keenan let out a long breath, trying to find better words. "They're helping people. They're making a difference in people's lives. They're not nobodies stuck in a useless office job. And that's why I'm here in Mistletoe, to forget about life for awhile and have some semblance of Christmas, where no one knows my name, but that's only because I'm a stranger."

Joshua was about to reply when he saw that Keenan was staring at an elderly couple sitting at a nearby table. They were laughing together, gesticulating wildly and carefree. With their coats off and sleeves pushed up, their soulmarks were fully on display. The woman had two, one faded to gray, the other vibrant in the way those newly marked were. He strained to hear Keenan's whisper, unsure if he realized he was saying his thoughts out loud.

"Maria Elizabeth Pierce and Whitney Carmen Santiago. The fates gave my dad two soulmates. How am I supposed to believe in them, that I would ever be granted a mark, if no one can remember my name?" 

Joshua gently wiped away the tears that had fallen down Keenan's face and then took both of his hands into his own. "Keenan Montgomery-Tubbington III, I don't know what the fates have in store for you, but I do know that I will always remember your name, and I will never forget you. I'm also going to make sure you have a proper Christmas. You're not a stranger in Mistletoe anymore, and for the time you're here, you'll never be alone."

"Cut! Great take everyone. Kurt? Next time, don't eat the cookie. There's sugar on your chin and shirt. Make-up, Wardrobe, can you take care of that? Santana, be more cheerful. You're a waitress in a Hallmark movie, not real life. Act like you love it. Blaine, great acting choices. Loving the heart eyes." Artie looked down at his clipboard to see if he'd missed any notes he'd jotted down during filming. Satisfied that he hadn't, he continued. "That's all I have. Great energy, everyone. Let's run it again."

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	16. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 16: Pledge, Mistletoe
> 
> This chapter continues from where Part 13 left off. It's promo filming time on the set of "A Soulmate for Santa Claus." Thanks to chasingkerouac, knower of all things Hallmark Christmas Movies, for help with Santana's spot. This chapter is rated PG with a heavy dose of melancholy and angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rather than continue to use and pretty much promote a brand I know nothing about other than "I own one and love it," I've decided to change the name of the brand of SUV used in the movie. It's already been changed in chapter 11 on both AO3 and tumblr, though reblogs before the change are naturally out of my out my control.

\--------------

"Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to travel to a town like Mistletoe, but if you wanted to, you could do it in a New Directions Journey SUV. There's enough space for you and all those you love.

Speaking of love, New Directions Motors would like you know that they believe that love knows no gender, no orientation, race, or creed. They support this movie and all those within the LGBTQIA+ community. That's why New Directions Motors will be donating a portion of every sale from here until December 31 to organizations that work on improving the lives of those who are marginalized for whom they love. Love. Acceptance. Pride. That's their pledge to you. New Directions. They didn't stop believing in love and neither should you."

"Cut! Great job, Kurt. Go change into the other outfit and we'll run the next one." Artie turned to his other romantic male lead who between the red and black flannel, black beanie, dark wash denim jeans, rugged boots, and a day's worth of stubble looked like he walked out of the pages of an L.L. Bean catalog. "Blaine, you ready?" At his actor's nod, he turned to his next potential problem, the black and yellow lab mixes wagging their tails and shedding fur all over his set. "Tina, make sure the dogs have gone to the bathroom this time."

Kurt tried to tune out the director as he sighed behind the partition that had been set up for the costume changes. He hadn't had time to do the research to see if New Directions was a good company or if they were just doing this to profit off the new viewers the movie would draw in, hoping they would gain more than they'd loose. He didn't want to be a face for a company like that. And yet, he'd signed the contract saying he would. He had wanted this movie so badly and needed the exposure. Another sigh escaped his lips as he tugged on the sleeves of patched-elbows tweed jacket. The SUVs weren't the only tools on the set today.

* * * * *

"My favorite Christmas memory is after baking Christmas cookies with my mom, my brother and I would sit by the fireplace with these big mugs of hot chocolate and a plate of the cookies. Then my mom and dad would tell us stories from their childhood Christmases. It was always the best day of the year."

Cut was called and Blaine shifted uncomfortably in the red, plushly padded chair. He hated this script. He hated having to pretend that his life was just as happy as a Hallmark Christmas movie. It was one thing when he was playing a character. It was another when he was supposed to be portraying himself. Worse, his feelings were bleeding over onto the footage. Eight takes and he still couldn't get it right. It all felt so wrong. His dad had always holed himself up in his study the nights he was actually home. His mom never baked. He had a nanny who did once, but all of her stuff was sugar free and tasted funny. The nanny after her had only made flan. He hated flan. It was too gelatinous and wiggly. As for his brother, when Cooper wasn't criticizing his dance moves, he was with off some new girlfriend. Christmases were sitting alone in his room watching Christmas movies on his computer or reading Star Wars fanfic that didn't make him feel so sad. 

Blaine closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. As he let the breath out, he imagined his next Christmas. It would be with Kurt. The way things between them were going, he was pretty sure they'd still be a couple. They would spend the holiday at Kurt's apartment, which actually did have a fireplace. And they'd share slices of cheesecake and drink Bailey's laced hot chocolate. They'd make a kind of picnic out of it, snuggled under the blankets. Once the food had been eaten, there would be kisses and a whole lot more as their clothes came off. That would become his favorite Christmas memory. 

With the image in his mind and hopefully a smile that didn't border on lascivious, he told the director he was ready to run the promotional spot again. This time the take stuck. On his way off the set, he squeezed Kurt's hand and shared a fond and supportive smile with him. Kurt was his anchor. There to hold him up on the hard days, just as he was there for him in return. 

* * * * *

Kurt's turn at telling Hallmark Channel viewers what his favorite Christmas memory was, was next to be filmed. Like Blaine, he'd been handed a script and required to lie. He wasn't allowed to talk about singing along to _The Sound of Music_ with his mom. It had been deemed "too gay" and "not normal" by the studio censors. Instead, his script said they watched Christmas movies together, not having a particular favorite. His dad would sit in his beloved, old and worn recliner and they'd all watch the movies together. At least that part was still true. Or had been until he'd moved away. It had been too long since he'd spent Christmas with his dad and step-mom. Maybe he could manage it this year and hopefully, Blaine would want to come with him. They could eat cheesecake and drink hot chocolate while singing along to their favorite movie musicals. And later, when the rest of the house was asleep, they'd go upstairs to his childhood bedroom and make out like teenagers, only with less fumbling and more sex. That would be his new perfect Christmas memory. 

* * * * *

As Kurt's last promo was wrapping up, Santana Lopez and Marley Rose entered the staging area. They were currently Hallmark's biggest draw, Unique Adams having recently left the circuit for bigger and brighter things. Santana could play both the Hard Nose Who Finds the True Meaning of Christmas as well as the Charming Romantic Lead. Marley though was the true fan favorite - sweet, innocent, girl next door, heart of gold, personifying the angel on top of every Christmas tree. Unlike Santana, she didn't have to fake it for the camera. There was nary a director and actor who didn't want to work with her. 

Blaine gave Marley a huge hug, careful not to muss her perfectly styled hair, tasteful necklace, and crimson dress. "It's been too long!"

"It's been three weeks, Blaine, and you'll see me again soon. I heard you got cast in _A Caper in Christmas Falls_."

"It's still too long and I did. I take it you're playing Jane?"

"Would it be egoistical of me to say I am?"

"Not at all. You deserve all the lead roles and it seems like a great part."

"You're too sweet."

Santana huffed out a sigh. She cared too. She just didn't feel the need to express it to the world. The world sucked and the majority of the people in it didn't need to know shit. "Is your boy toy done, Hobbit? I've got a date with Brittany tonight and want to get this cheesefest over with." She glared at the rack of dresses she and Marley would be required to change into. "I don't see why we have to film new promos every year. It's the same damn dialogue." With a forced smile and saccharine dripping from her lips, she recited the lines she'd known by heart for the past four years. "If you're looking for lighthearted romance, turn to Countdown to Christmas on the Hallmark Channel. For the best of holiday drama, watch the Most Wonderful Movies of the Year on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries."

"And that's exactly how I want you to say it. And you'll do it because you're getting paid to. Unless you're suddenly Broadway's next Bright New Star and up for a Tony like Unique, you'll get on the set and smile pretty for the cameras." Artie turned his attention to his actor that didn't give him as much grief. "Blaine, you and Kurt are free to go. Check with Tina for your new call times. We had to move them up as we've fallen behind...again."

Blaine found Kurt changing out of his costume and into his street clothes. "How about we get some Chinese take out, go back to the hotel, take a long hot shower, and spend the rest of the night watching bad reality TV?"

"This is why you're the perfect man for me." Kurt kissed his boyfriend with a smile. "You read my mind."

"I could read something else." Blaine retracted his hand from the front of his boyfriend's pants when he heard a shout from offset.

"Take it elsewhere, guys. This is Hallmark, not Cinemax."

Kurt laughed into Blaine's shoulder, trying to muffle the sound. "Come on. Let's go practice tomorrow's lines at my place."

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	17. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 17: Quantity, Stocking
> 
> Summary: This chapter takes place the day following Part 13. It's pure shameless, fluffy smut as that's immediately where my mind went upon seeing the words of the day. As such, this chapter is rated M.

\--------------

"It's not about the quantity of the gifts you put in the stocking hung by the chimney, but the quality that counts, Keenan."

Kurt leaned in close to Blaine's ear and whispered, "Oh, I think the quantity of times I put my quality stocking into your chimney definitely counts towards something."

Blaine shivered, character completely broken. "Come on, Kurt, I thought we were going to run lines and we're in my trailer. What if someone hears us?"

Kurt rucked up the back of his boyfriend's shirt which allowed his fingers easier access to the waistband of his pants and the glorious ass they hid. "Blaine, everyone knows that, 'Hey, want to run lines in my trailer' is code for hooking up. And you said it while standing in the middle of the craft services line. If there are noises, no one is going to be surprised. What's done is done, so if I'm going to be embarrassed by any rumors or comments, I might as well get something out of it. Just grope me already and let's take off each other's pants."

Blaine couldn't help his body's response to the touches. As he grew harder, his erection pressed against Kurt's. His hands found themselves around Kurt's waist, one still firmly holding onto the script. He was a professional actor and needed, as the director of this movie was fond of saying, to act like it. "Okay. Okay. I know what it normally means, but this time, I really did want to run lines. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"And who's fault was that?" Kurt swiveled his hips, loving the friction of their erections sliding across each other.

"Um, yours? Your mouth kept falling onto my dick."

Kurt smiled at the memory. "And your ass kept falling onto my dick. Neither us was complaining about a lack of sleep then."

"I am now. Sorry."

Kurt pulled back from where he had been kissing down his boyfriend's neck and chest where undone buttons had exposed it all. He knew what stop meant and knew that Blaine took his roles seriously. "Okay. We'll run lines. Tina gave me new pages today. She said we're now on mauve."

"Mauve? I have blue."

"Well that's another way to get fucked." Kurt stared forlornly at the bulge withering in his pants. "So much for getting trashy in a trailer. Whose turn is it to call Tina?"

"Yours, but I'll do it. She likes me better."

"She likes your ass."

Blaine kissed his boyfriend soundly, his mouth full of promises for later. "Yes, but your opinion of it is the only one that matters."

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	18. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 18: Realism, Tree 
> 
> This chapter continues from where Part 15 left off. It's an emotional roller coaster full of behind-the-scenes & movie angst, blatant product placements, and classic Hallmark Christmas movie cheese on the set of "A Soulmate for Santa Claus." This chapter is rated PG-13 for unintentional innuendo.

\--------------

Kurt was amazed at the realism of the set they were filming on today. If you didn't look up at the lights and mics or to the sides where reflective sheets were being held up and the area where the cameras and crew were watching and doing their jobs, you could imagine that this was indeed the cozy den of a bachelor who loved all things winter and Christmas. It felt like home. Though his home would never have such gaudy, Christmas tree print curtains nor two large, stuffed Sheets-N-Things shopping bags sitting on a chair to their left. It was as obvious of a product placement as you could get. Though, this being a Hallmark movie, subtlety was never a concept they embraced. 

Kurt flipped through his script again, making sure he had the new line changes down pat. They were on taupe today. A single switch from "Lima Bean coffee" to "special Christmas Roast Mocha with notes of Madagascar cinnamon and vanilla" and mauve was gone. He imagined an entire tractor trailer dedicated to reams of paper in every color that could be seen by the human eye and a few that couldn't. At the rate they were going, ultraviolet would be next. Or maybe Tina would just start writing the words on herself and a line of extras. 

Feeling the press of a familiar hand on his leg, he looked up to find Blaine staring at him, a fond, dreamy smile on his face. "What?"

"It's you."

"Yep, same me until Artie calls action. Then it's back to being Keenan."

"No, it's you, you. You're Cute Barista Guy."

Kurt let out a small chuckle. "Not in this movie. Did Tina give you the wrong pages again or did you eat the special brownies that security guard Puck was passing around?"

"I meant from the Lima Bean back in Ohio. I didn't even make the connection until I read this scene. I always thought you seemed familiar because we work together so much. But no, it's you - the cute barista with the blue streak in his hair and piercings that I was always hoping to catch the eye of. You were always so busy though, getting called away at the last minute every time I went up to get coffee. I used to go there so much hoping you'd be working so I could get your number, ask to take you out for coffee. Which seems stupid now, but I was in high school and completely smitten." Blaine shook his head and tried to hid his embarrassment with his hand. "It's silly."

Kurt pulled Blaine's hand away and held it in his own. "It's not silly. It's sweet."

"Would you have said, yes?"

"Maybe." The words were out of his mouth before he'd thought them and there was no way to take them back. There was no simple answer to that question. 

Blaine's face fell. "Only maybe?

Kurt was about to reply, to finally open up a bit about that time in his life when he was fake dating Brittany and doing the whole bad boy thing in a desperate attempt to pass as straight and stop people from making his life a living hell, when places were called. He shook his body head to toe and limb to limb, letting out several long breaths as he did so. He was no longer that scared boy from high school nor the more confident, but still finding his way, man of now. He was Keenan Montgomery-Tubbington III, a file clerk from Chicago on a date-not date-please let it be a date with the adorable toy maker he'd met shortly after arriving in Mistletoe on vacation. Smitten. That's what he was. Completely and hopelessly smitten even though he'd only known the man for a few days. 

* * * * *

Keenan let Joshua take his hand and lead him through the back door of the workshop and into the living space. Black cherry moldings framed the doorway and walls of the room, complimenting the wainscoting in the same stain and ruby toned wallpaper. The hardwood floor was covered with an old and intricate rug of golds, reds, and greens. Upon it stood a simple wooden table with crimson velvet padded chairs that matched the one over by the curtained window. Best of all was the fireplace. It was on the smallish side, but still looked grand with the chimney bricks exposed as they rose up against the wall, interrupted only by the hand carved mantel and a few framed photographs placed upon it. A black iron screen protected the room from the smoldering fire waiting to be stoked back to life. 

"I know it's not much."

"Are you kidding, Joshua? I love it! It's so warm and cozy. The curtains are charming. Very festive. Did you get them from Sheets-N-Things?"

Joshua moved over to his dining table set out for 4 people even though he lived alone. You never knew when visitors might pop over. "I did! Along with this matching table runner and adorable Santa themed tableware set."

Keenan picked up a plate and tall glass. "Oh, even the cookie plate and milk glass have little comic Santas on them playing with snowmen and puppies!"

"The hot drink mugs have Santa and his reindeer." 

"I bet they're just as adorable."

Joshua beamed at his new friend. He loved that they shared the same tastes in tableware and decor. "Would you like to see? I can make us some coffee."

Keenan set the milk glass down and rubbed his hands together, trying to warm them up. "Oh, that sounds perfect on a day like today. By any chance do you have Lima Bean's Special Christmas Roast Mocha?"

"As a matter of fact, I do! I just picked up another bag this morning. I love its full bodied richness with notes of Madagascar cinnamon and vanilla."

"And, cut!" The director moved closer to his actors who had become despondent now that the cameras weren't rolling. "A couple more takes and the shilling will be over."

"It's okay, Artie, we understand. Sponsors are important. I heard some advertisers dropped out."

"None that matter, Blaine. Lima Bean said they would pick up the difference if we'd mention their new Christmas roast."

Kurt stood still while Elliot touched up his hair and make-up. The swoop in front had not been cooperative today. "I worked at one of their Ohio locations. Saw a mouse once, but their coffee was good. I actually plan on picking up a bag or two of the Christmas roast once it becomes available." 

"Tell me that after an hour of sip and spit and I'll believe you."

Kurt gasped, holding in his brewing anger. "I get to spit out the coffee? You made me swallow the eggnog."

"Yeah, well, I'm being charitable today. Plus, the table provides cover for the spit buckets that the hall most decidedly did not." Artie clapped his gloved hands together. "Elliot, if you're done making the boys pretty, we can roll the second take. Back to One, people."

* * * * *

Now that the two of them had enjoyed a delicious cup of Lima Bean Special Christmas Roast Mocha coffee, Joshua walked over to a large cardboard box that was lying open beside a barren, freshly cut pine tree standing proudly, but lonely, in its stand. "Do you want to help me decorate the Christmas tree?"

Keenan set down his empty mug and got up from the table. "Are you sure you're not just trying to get some free labor from me?"

"Well, I did ply you with coffee and the Noel family's chocolate chip cookies first." Joshua titled his head and gazed up at the man who had captured his heart. He didn't know why as he had never felt such a strong connection with anyone before. More than anything, he wanted to give Keenan Montgomery-Tubbington III the world. "At the diner yesterday, I promised you a proper Christmas so we're going to do all of the things. I even made a list."

"Did you check it twice?"

Joshua held back a grin as he always did whenever Keenan came too close to the truth. "Of course."

Keenan's curiosity peaked. "I'm in."

Thrilled, Joshua pulled out two bundles of lights from the box and held them up. "First, I have a very serious question to ask you. Two actually. Big lights or little lights. White or mixed colors?"

"Oooh, this could turn into quite the heated debate."

"I'll take my chances."

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Keenan couldn't keep up the stern facade and broke out into a less serious grin. "Small white lights are perfect for outdoor trees in public spaces. Like those ones in the center of town, along Holly Street? I've never seen large white lights before, so I'll have to hold my judgment on those for now, but could see them adorning, say, a Swiss chalet."

Joshua nodded his head. So far, they were in agreement.

"Big colored lights? If the house is old, 1950's or earlier, then those are a must. But for Christmas trees, I'm going to have to go with little colored lights."

"Not the big ones? I am a personal fan of big ones."

Keenan fought hard to contain his laughter. "Little ones. Lots of little ones. That way you get a tree that's filled with color. The big ones are too clunky."

"I'll have to politely disagree with you on the clunky part, but seeing as how you're my guest, we'll go with the little lights."

"You don't have to do that on my account. It's your Christmas tree."

Joshua put away the larger lights and pulled out another set of small ones. "Yes, but it's your Christmas too."

"Okay. Thank you. Do you want to start from the top and work your down or do you prefer to work from the bottom up?"

"Bottom up works for me!"

* * * * *

Twelve takes, one pissed off director, a confused Brittany, multiple exclamations of, "How did this get past the censors? Have they never met a gay man before?", and a lunch break later, filming of the scene was able to continue. 

"I'm glad we could agree on the tinsel garland." Joshua accepted the end of the strand from Keenan so that he could wrap it around the back of the tree. With Keenan on the front and he on the back, the decorating was going smoothly. They were working well as a team. 

"I can't believe you had both red and gold. I didn't see any in the box earlier."

"Maybe it was magic."

"Or maybe you're just more organized than I am. I tend to lose everything."

Joshua heard his friend's quiet sigh and change in manner. He stepped around the tree to see what had happened. "Keenan, why the sad face? What's wrong?"

Keenan let the strand of garland he was holding fall from his hands. "Decorating the tree. Seeing the old fashioned ornaments you have in that box? It made me remember that I lost my favorite Christmas ornament. It was the last thing my mom and sister bought together on their shopping trip right before the car accident. I brought it with me because I wanted a bit of them on this trip and hung it up in my New Directions Journey SUV. I thought I had brought it inside, into my room at the Bed & Breakfast, but I guess I didn't. I haven't been able to find it."

"Did you look in your messenger bag? You always seem to have it with you. Maybe it's in there."

"I'm pretty sure I did. There's nothing in there except for a couple of books, my laptop, and passport."

"Do you mind if I check?"

"Be my guest."

Joshua walked over to the dining room chair where Keenan had placed his bag upon settling in for coffee and tree decorating. He undid the latch on the flap of the bag and stuck his hand inside. As he peered at the titles of the books, he smiled at what he saw. Keenan had good taste. He stuck his hand in further and with a sly grin he hoped his friend didn't notice, he pulled out a glass bulb upon which a snowy winter scene had been painted. There was a clearing among the trees where a cabin stood, firewood piled outside, warm yellow light shining through the windows, smoke coming out of the chimney, and stars that shined brightly in the night sky.

"You found it! How did you do that? You're amazing!" Keenan rushed to give Joshua a hug. Realizing what he'd done, he released him, blushing furiously. With reverence he cupped the ornament in his hands. "I can't believe such a fragile thing has survived so much."

"Some things are stronger than they appear to be at first glance." Joshua took an ornament hook off the table and slipped it onto the end of the bulb. "Should be hang it on the tree? Let it be the first one up and in a place of honor."

"I'd like that. Thank you."

"It's my pleasure."

* * * * *

An hour of singing Christmas carols later and the tree was decked out in all its glory.

"The only thing missing is the top. What do you prefer, Keenan, angel or star?"

"Why not both? An angel holding a star?"

"I like the way you think! And I think I may have something that will work."

Keenan laughed as Joshua once again dug around in the singular cardboard box. There was no way it wasn't magical, though he wasn't quite ready to commit to that idea yet.

Joshua pulled out the object of desire with a flourish. "Ta da!"

The angel was lovely with its white and gold brocade gown, tinsel halo, and porcelain hands that held a gilded glass star. "It's perfect!"

"Would you like to do the honors?"

"Thank you." Needing only to press up on his toes and stretch a little, Keenan placed the angel on top of the tree. He reached around to the back and connected its trailing wire to the uppermost string of lights. In an instant the angel was lit, light glowing from within and shining out through the star.

Joshua's eyes were only for the man standing before him, the joy on his face brighter than any star could be. "Perfect."

Keenan turned his head at Joshua's statement and blushed at the intense gaze the man quickly tried to hide. He wanted it to be true. He did. But life had taught him not to get his hopes up too high, so he pushed his feelings down and pretended it was just an ordinary day with a companionable friend. Not that he had any companionable friends back in Chicago. "So what's next?"

Joshua laughed. "What makes you think there's a next?"

Keenan crossed his arms, faking consternation. "You said you have a list. I'm holding you to that, Mister Joshua Flores."

"You got me. Well, as the song says, 'stockings hung by a fire'."

"More things to pull out of your magic box?"

"No. Those I picked up when I bought the curtains." Joshua moved to the chair by the window and pulled two Christmas stockings out of one of the Sheets-N-Things bags. He returned to Keenan who had moved to the fireplace and held them out. "Green with red or red with green?"

Keenan reached out for the one of the stockings, admiring the rich colors of the thick velvet. "I'll take the green. It matches my cardigan."

Joshua couldn't help but give Keenan another appreciative look. The evergreen cardigan with red piping suited the man well. "That it does. Guess I get red. It matches my sweater."

"You're always in red. I don't think I've seen you in anything else."

Joshua bit his lip, trying to hide his smile. "I like the color."

"Me too. It suits you."

It didn't take long for the two to hang up their stockings as heavy brass holders had already been placed upon the mantel. Joshua chose the Santa Claus one, while Keenan opted for the stately reindeer.

Keenan gave his stocking the slightest of adjustments, making certain it hung just right. "When I was a kid, I loved waking up on Christmas morning and finding my stocking filled to the brim. I still do. I just pretend that Santa bought the presents instead of me."

"I'm afraid this is something else we shall have to disagree on. In my opinion, it's not about the quantity of the gifts put in the stocking hung by the chimney, but the quality that counts, Keenan."

Keenan raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Why can't you have both? My mom would buy my sister and I these incredibly soft knit socks that an elderly woman she knew would make and sell around the holidays. The yarn was the kind where all the colors were mixed up so there wasn't a set pattern, making each sock unique. We'd each get a pair; sometimes two if we were growing fast that year. And then there'd be mittens and a bunch of little treats like wrapped chocolates from the specialty shop we could never afford to buy from any other time of the year. There were one or two presents to unwrap under the tree, of course, but that stocking was always my favorite thing about Christmas. Well, that and the cookies." Keenan tried to laugh in order to break the serious mood he had caused, but it came out hollow. He missed his family terribly, but he wanted to enjoy his time with Joshua while it lasted.

Joshua placed a gentle hand on Keenan's arm. "I've made you sad. I'm sorry."

Keenan wiped at his eyes, brushing away the tears that had started to form. "It's okay. It's a good kind of sad, you know? They say it's good to remember the people you love. It keeps their memory alive. My mom always knew how to make Christmas special and I think I'd forgotten that." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, regaining his composure. "She would have liked you. You two shared the same taste in Christmas tree lights. Even if that opinion is wrong."

"Ooh, just for that, I'm telling Santa to put nothing but coal in your stocking."

Keenan gave Joshua a look that was nothing short of a smug smirk. "Coal is a valuable fuel source. I never understood how that was inherently bad. I can think of a lot worse things to put in a Christmas stocking. Such as you know, those big and gaudy Christmas lights!" 

"Oh, you are so going on the Naughty List!"

Keenan danced away from Joshua, the laughter true this time as it bubbled out of him. It was wonderful to feel happy again and he never wanted it to end.

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


	19. A Very Hallmark Christmas - Part 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 19: Stay, Wreath 
> 
> This chapter continues from where Part 16 left off. It's a lot of angst and Kurt background. TW for referred, but non-graphic, canon homophobic acts and a non-canon threat. Rated PG-13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the 3 week delay in getting this chapter out. My husband had a major medical emergency that turned our lives upside down. He's doing much better now.

\--------------

Trying to film a snowman building scene in the middle of summer was annoying on its own. Trying to film a snowman building scene when it was raining was annoying as hell, but doable with enough tarps. Which is what they had been doing for the past few hours. Until it started pouring rain and became downright impossible. 

A couple of the child actors had started throwing around a wreath like a Frisbee out of boredom. While they were doing that, the experienced and "more mature" ones were critiquing the acting abilities of the newbies. Kurt personally thought Sydney's rendition of _Ring of Keys_ and audition monologue were good enough to land her a call back for the Vancouver production of _Fun Home_ , but "I've Been on Broadway" Jenithon had a different, withering opinion. 

Not for the first time that day, Kurt wished the town's liquor store, currently disguised as Mistletoe Hardware & Lumber, was open. He could use a drink or four. Four would be better. Instead, he stood miserable and damp under a tent, waiting to be told what to do next. Blaine was just as miserable and silent. One look at Tina told them it was better to just stay where they were and not ask questions.

Artie called a wrap on the scene until the weather improved. He asked Blaine and Kurt over to the production tent to watch the footage they'd shot of the promotional spots now that they'd been cut together. "Blaine, your spots came out great. Very manly. The ladies are going to eat them up. Kurt? Your voice is too high in a couple of places and you shouldn't have shaved. It's all a bit too...girly."

Kurt crossed his arms and tried not to set fire to the director with the force of his glare. "I was told to shave, so I shaved. Not my fault, Artie. And what do you mean, girly? That's my voice. I'm a guy in guy clothes doing promotion for a movie about two guys who fall in love, and I'm one of those guys."

"I don't know how else to say it. Delicate? You should have been butched up like Blaine in order to attract more viewers; make the ladies swoon."

This was the nightmare of trying to get cast as Tony in the Lima Community Theatre's production of _West Side Story_ all over again. "Blaine looks nothing like he does in those spots compared to the movie." 

"Exactly. They should have done that for you too. Stick around the set. Maybe we can set something up today. According to the latest weather forecast this rain is going to last for awhile."

"I need this job. I need this job. I need this job." Kurt repeated the mantra in his head as he watched Artie leave, wanting nothing more than rip him a dozen more orifices. When the director was out of sight, he all but ran to his trailer, slamming the door shut behind him and ignoring the pleas of his boyfriend to wait until he could catch up. 

* * * * *

Blaine pounded again on the door of Kurt's trailer. "Come on, Kurt. Let me in."

"I don't want to fight with you, Blaine."

"Who says we have to fight? And even if we did end up in an argument, we'll work it out. Couples fight. We've fought before."

"This is worse than you eating the last slice of cheesecake and not waking me up in time to do my workout."

"Did I do something wrong? Whatever it is, I'm sorry." Blaine waited for what felt like forever before he heard Kurt's reply. He'd been in too much of a hurry to grab an umbrella and the rain was beginning to seep into his underwear. He needed to fix this as much as he needed to get somewhere dry. 

"No. Not directly. It's a long story. Are we needed on set?"

"Not unless you've got a rowboat or an ark. Artie, Tina, and April are making calls."

"About what? Trying to find us a new location to film at or do some interior scenes? Or did Artie get his wish and I have to re-shoot the promos?"

"There was a lot of yelling, so I really didn't want to ask. Can I come in? I'm soaking wet. Elliott and Wardrobe are going to kill me."

Kurt paused his mental swirl of emotions and became aware of the rain pounding on the roof and sides of his trailer. "Oh! Sorry." He unlocked the door and pushed it open to let his boyfriend in. Chagrined, he handed him a towel and his hair dryer. "It's all I have. Sorry."

Blaine took the towel and dabbed lightly at his dripping hair, face, and clothes. It was a futile attempt to dry off, but the best he could do under the circumstances. He tried waiting for Kurt to speak first, but the silence after the offer of the towel was dragging on. "If you're not mad at me directly, then you must be indirectly. I'm sorry about what Artie said. You didn't deserve that."

Kurt needed to move, to pace, to do something so he didn't have to face his boyfriend or the reality crashing down around him. His trailer was small though, so he had to settle on cleaning up the mess on his table. "I shouldn't have done this movie. I should have stayed in the closet even if it was a glass one."

"What? Kurt, no! Artie's a sexist ass, okay?"

"No, it's not okay! You wouldn't understand, Blaine. You're an alpha gay. You can pass without even trying, and when you don't, people love you anyway."

"That's not true and you know it! I told you what happened to me in high school. Why I had to transfer to Dalton and ended up a year behind."

Kurt paused the rearranging of his bottles of skin care products. "You're right. I'm sorry." He couldn't take the words back, only move forward and try to make Blaine understand his frustration and anger at the situation. It wasn't just about the promo spots or Artie. "I never told you what happened to me in high school. Why I looked the way I did when you only knew me as That Barista Guy."

"It was Cute Barista Guy."

"That's the thing. I wasn't trying to be cute. I was," Kurt rolled his eyes at what he was about to confess. "I was trying to come off as a straight bad boy."

"If it helps, I thought you were straight until I saw you checking me out when you were wiping down a table. It was subtle, but then you smiled and I was hooked. Another time, I saw you kiss Brittany, so I figured you were bi and sadly taken. Didn't stop my crush though." Blaine grinned at the memory. He had never drank more coffee in his life that summer, and if it hadn't been for his job at Kings Island, he never would have been able to afford it.

"Brittany was the only reason I survived high school. Well, her and Mercedes. Brittany tried to convince me that I was a unicorn and that unicorns needed to shine. Then I showed her the bruises."

"Bruises?"

"There were these Neanderthals at school and they made my life a living hell. Teachers looked away. The principal wouldn't do anything. My dad was really sick and I didn't want to stress his heart any more than it was, so I couldn't tell him." Kurt took a few deep breaths as he fiddled with the hem of his sweater, still unable to look at his boyfriend directly. "So the summer before sophomore year, I asked Mercedes to give me a makeover and Brittany to be my girlfriend. Mercedes thought I was crazy. Brittany had a reputation she wanted to keep of sleeping with every guy in the school and said that dolphins should stick together. One weekend we had a sleepover at Brittany's place, watched every John Hughes teen angst movie ever made, had a shopping spree at the K-Mart and Walmart in the next town over, and bought a bunch of fake tattoos and magnetic piercings at Claire's in the mall. I also started working out with my dad's old weights."

"The tattoo on your back is fake?"

"No, that's real, but I didn't get it until one very drunk night in college. The girls dyed my hair and helped me artistically rip my jeans and t-shirts. Mercedes gave me one of her brother's old leather jackets, and figured out which tattoos and piercings would look best with my bone structure. That magnetic jewelry hurts by the way. I didn't have to fake my scowl all the time."

"You looked hot."

Kurt couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Bad boy thing does it for you, huh?"

"Only when it's you."

Kurt smirked at Blaine's praise and decided to add fuel to his fire. "I did vandalism."

"No! You?"

"Nothing that hadn't been done to me before. Nothing I could go to juvie for. I threw pee balloons at their cars." Kurt held up his hand to stop the questions he knew were coming. "I made one pee balloon. It was grosser than you think and really weird doing it and thinking about it. It's like what, all those homophobic jocks had been standing around each other with their dicks out, peeing into balloons, and thinking it was normal? I just can't...I made the rest with vinegar and a little food coloring. And I also set a carton of eggs out for a week until they were good and ripe. Those left a nice splat."

"Is that all?"

"Do you know me to do anything by halves?"

"No."

"I was a very determined sixteen year old. My dad's shop got a call for a tow out at the truck stop. I recognized the caller's name as one of the girls who had this sort of slacker gang at school. They called themselves the Skanks and mostly just hung out under the bleachers smoking, skipping class, and bragging about hookups. So I volunteered to do the job and didn't charge her for it. I did the work on her truck for free too. Between that and the clothes and the hair, it gave me the in I needed when school started up again. Then there was the Brittany of it all."

Kurt didn't care if he was working. He needed a drink to get through this part. Luckily, he remembered the half empty bottle of vodka Santana had left the week before. He poured himself and Blaine a shot. They were both going to need it. "Brittany started taking me to parties. We'd usually just make out on a couch or in one of the corners. Dance really close together. That sort of thing. But at one of them..." Kurt downed another shot, eyes watering at the burn, "At one of them, we went up to one of the bedrooms and I lost my virginity thinking about Taylor Lautner making love to me in a dewy meadow. Brittany's lips tasted like root beer. And the pregnancy scare that followed had me buying every kind of condom the drug store carried. My dad found them and gave me the most embarrassing sex talk ever. How do you tell your dad you didn't need to know about hetero sex because you were gay and you'd almost knocked up your fake girlfriend?" 

"Did you?"

"Not until I got suspended from school for giving the worst of the Neanderthals a black eye and kneeing his balls so hard he could taste them. No one bothered me after that. Well, he tried. The fucker couldn't help being creepy, but he never laid a hand on me again."

"What did your dad do?"

"Grounded me for a month and made me work the whole time at the garage without pay. I told him everything. He thought it had been some kind of method acting thing until the fight. He told me he loved me and that I mattered and that as long as I kept my grades up and didn't do anything else that could get me kicked out of school or in jail, he was fine with it. Oh, and he wouldn't let me trade in my car for a motorcycle, no matter how much it would go along with my new image. And a week later, he made me toast and gave me another sex talk. This time with pamphlets. As he put it, 'I watched that _Brokeback Mountain_ movie. These will show you what went down in the tent.' There were diagrams, Blaine. Actual diagrams!"

"Were they helpful?" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He was glad Kurt had someone to provide him with sex education. So many straight and LGBTQ youth weren't and it affected their lives in ways Kurt had sadly found out the hard way.

"Surprisingly so. Much better than the porn I'd tried to watch. With the pamphlets I wasn't thinking about how could the men do that and what if their mothers saw and why would you get a tattoo down there." At Blaine's chuckle, he added, "I may have been a bad boy and no longer a virgin, but I was still incredibly naive. To thank my dad and make up for the hell I put him through, I introduced him to Carole and planned their wedding." With a reluctant sigh, he put away the bottle of liquor. There was no way he was going to get drunk on set. Not with how much he'd sacrificed to get here.

"How much you sacrificed?"

Kurt winced. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"It's okay that you did. I'm always here to listen. It's still raining, so I doubt we'll be called back anytime soon."

"If you're sure? It's just as boring and pathetic as what I just told you."

"Kurt, there is nothing boring and pathetic about you. You're the most interesting guy in all of...of everywhere." Blaine shook out the heavy flannel shirt he'd been dressed in. It no longer clung to the white cotton tee he wore underneath. "Can we move to your couch though? I think I've dried off enough not to soak it."

"Sure. Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"I'm fine and you're stalling. Just get it all out in the open. I think you'll feel better."

"Once I started looking like a bad boy, looking and acting more," Kurt rolled his eyes and sighed, "manly and straight, I started getting roles at the Lima Community Theatre. Granted, they weren't big roles, and knowing what I do now, I understand that signing _I'm the Greatest Star_ while climbing on scaffolding wasn't the way to land the part of Tony, especially at the age of fifteen, but at least I stopped being thought of as too girly or not masculine enough to be believable. It allowed me to acquire enough experience to get into NYADA. I tried being myself there, but after the rejections starting happening again, I went back to my ripped jeans and dyed hair and talking in a lower register. And the parts came. When I graduated, there was no reason to change. I was getting work and isn't that what every actor wants? When the chance to audition for my first Hallmark Christmas movie came along, my agent suggested I tone it down a bit and that worked. I was never the romantic lead, but I wasn't the ambiguous gay friend all the time either and it was steady work. I was out, but I wasn't out...out. Then Brittany wrote this script and begged me to audition and I couldn't say no. I owed her too much and this was my big chance to prove I was leading man material."

Blaine took his boyfriend's hand, offering comfort and understanding in the best way he knew how. He had known about Kurt's Christmas movie circuit work and the few roles he'd gotten in-between, but not all that had led up to it. Kurt had always been vague about that, changing the subject any time it came up, only showing him the most wholesome of his head-shots. His frustrations on the day of the promo shooting and storming off to his trailer this morning made so much more sense now. "What Artie said brought it all back, didn't it?"

"I know it's not your fault, but you've at least played gay and straight romantic leads before. I worked my ass off to get this far, Blaine. It may only be a made for TV movie on the Hallmark Channel, but I've worked so hard to make Keenan believable and to prove I was an actor people wanted to work with again. And now I'm being told I'm not manly enough for the part. They put you in flannel with dogs and me in a tweed blazer, and somehow now I'm a girl. Why didn't I get put in flannel and hiking boots? I grew up in Ohio and my dad is a mechanic. You don't think I didn't own those things too even before I did the whole bad boy thing? They didn't make me any more of a man then when I wore Alexander McQueen."

"Artie doesn't know what he's talking about, Kurt. Please don't listen to him."

"He's the director. I don't have a choice."

"I'll talk to Tina."

Kurt glared at the throw pillow he'd pulled to his chest as a kind of shield. He'd bedazzled it out of boredom during the last rain delay. It and the rest of the "non manly" things in his trailer would have to go. "Don't. I don't want to cause any trouble for myself. I'll do what he wants and butch up."

"That wouldn't be fair to the character. Keenan's not like Cute Barista Bad Boy Kurt."

"Then I'll do it for the promos and when I'm not in costume." He closed his eyes, wanting to shut out the reality that had befallen him. "I'm so tired, Blaine. I'm so tired of being of being someone I thought was behind me."

"Who you are is perfect, Kurt. You've told me a hundred times that you love this movie. You're amazing in it, and not for one minute is anyone ever going to think you're not one hundred percent leading man material." Blaine cupped his boyfriend's cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb against his strong jawline. "You are all male, Kurt Hummel, and I love you for it. I thought you looked very hot professor in those commercials. The tweed jacket, sweater, plaid shirt, and chinos combo? Very appealing."

Kurt opened his eyes, letting himself enjoy the affection for a minute before pulling away and retrieving a stack of letters from a drawer of his trailer's small bureau and handing them to Blaine. "The increase in the vileness of the hate mail I've been getting would say the public thinks otherwise." 

"What increase?"

"The letters have been coming more often. The last few were left for me at the front desk at the hotel, and one was stuck under my door this morning."

Blaine took the large bundle of letters he was handed. More that half didn't have a post mark. "Kurt, why didn't you say something? We need to call the police or the studio or someone!"

Kurt shrugged. "I just figured it was to be expected, and that if you weren't getting as many and not saying anything, then neither should I. It's not anything I haven't heard before in public school including the death threats. But between them saying that I was corrupting you and turning you gay, and others saying a woman should know her place, on top of Artie's comments today, it got all mixed together and blown up in my head. I'm sorry I took some of it out on you. It's not your fault."

Blaine opened one of the letters and then another. This wasn't even close to the kind of mail he'd been getting. It was so much worse. "Kurt, we need to deal with this now. These aren't normal."

"It's just a bunch of homophobic idiots, Blaine. I told you. I overreacted. Screw the haters. They're not going to take away what we have and what we're making. I'll butch up for Artie if that's what it takes to get through this movie with him." 

"Kurt, forget about Artie and his outdated opinions. I love you and want you to be safe. We're going to go see Tina. Now."

"But..." Kurt wasn't given the chance to protest further as Tina entered his trailer after only knocking once. 

"I thought I'd find you both in here. We're moving to the high school's gym. Wardrobe says to keep on what you're wearing and they'll sort it out there. A car will be by in about ten minutes to pick you up."

"Tina, Kurt needs to show you something."

"Can it wait? We're in a hurry and I've got Artie breathing down my neck like a hungry vampire at a Victorian ball."

Blaine gently grabbed Tina's arm before she could leave and put the pile of letters on top of her clipboard, leaving open the one with large, red cutout letters telling Kurt that he should burn in hell. "It really can't."

 

_~absolutely to be continued_


End file.
